Crystals of Silveria Super-Shorts - by GamerZack87

Alph and Ocre are training.

Ocre: You've definitely improved, Alph.

Alph stops swinging at Ocre.

Alph: Thanks...(pant)...Ocre...

Ocre: Let's finish up for today.

Alph: Good idea. I could use a rest.

Amy: Who wants tea?

Amy walks up to Ocre and Alph carrying a cardboard tray lined with white paper cups.

Ocre: You read my mind!

Amy: How many times must I tell you, Ocre? I'm an esper, not a telepath!

Ocre: No, it was a metaphor.

Amy: Oh, right. Silly me! Anyway, here's your chilled chilli tea, Ocre.

Amy hands one of the cups to Ocre.

Ocre: Thanks. I could use a cool beverage.

Furbendink: Cool?! That thing is full of chilli!

Furbendink is suddenly standing there.

Amy: Ah, Furbendink! Here's your...uh...cup of sweet whipped cream.

Amy hands a particularly large cup to Furbendink.

Furbendink: YAAAAAAAAY! My favourite!

Furbendink runs away with delight.

Ocre: I don't know how he can drink that by itself.

Amy: And for Alph, one steaming-hot plain black tea.

Amy hands a cup to Alph.

Alph: Thank you, Amy.

Amy smiles sweetly.

Amy: So...are you going to drink it?

Alph: In a minute.

Amy: Oh. I'll come back shortly, then. I'm sure Crynock's eagerly awaiting his melon water.

Alph: No problem.

Amy begins walking away.

Amy's thoughts: I'll quickly give Crynock his drink, then race back to Alph. This time, I WILL see his beautiful face!

One minute later...

Amy approaches Alph and Ocre. Alph is wearing his breather and holding his cup.

Amy: I'm back!

Alph: Oh, hi!

Amy looks at Alph's cup, then at his face.

Amy: You haven't drunk your tea?

Alph: Actually, I have.

Amy: How much?

Alph: All of it.

Amy: WHAT?!

Alph: It was really good. Thanks again!

Amy: You finished an entire large tea in under a minute? How?!

Alph: I was thirsty. Training's intense when Ocre's involved!

Ocre: He's not wrong! Haha!

Amy: But it was scalding hot!

Alph: Yeah? And?

Amy: How can you guzzle hot tea so quickly?

Alph: I must be part-drachomus or something.

Alph and Ocre laugh. Amy spins around, her eyes shadowed as a look of sorrow appears on her face.

Amy's thoughts: No! My plans have been thwarted once again! Mark my words: I WILL see Alph's face, even if I have to pry that mask from it myself!

Amy laughs in a semi-sinister fashion.

Ocre: What do you see in that girl, Alph?

Alph shrugs and makes an "I dunno" sound.

Kendall walks up to a door, where Brocc is standing.

Kendall: Oh, is the toilet occupied?

Brocc: Yep! Join the queue, Kenny.

Kendall: Oh...okay.

Kendall stands behind Brocc.

Kendall: You do know that it's mainly family who call me "Kenny", right?

Brocc: Oh yeah, like your sisters, right?

Kendall: Yes, like my dear sister.

Brocc: I know what you mean. My sister Katalina calls me "Brockie", which I think is her way of saying-

A flushing sound is heard.

Brocc: -YAY! The toilet's free!

The door opens, and Mak steps out.

Mak: She's all yours, boys!

Mak walks away.

Brocc: Wait...MAK was the one in there?!

Kendall sniffs the air, then quickly covers his hand with his mouth while he gags.

Kendall: I think I'm going to be sick...

Brocc: What? You've never used a public toilet before?

Kendall: I haven't used one after Mak, if that's what you mean.

Brocc: Well, I have plenty of times, and I assure you that Mak ALWAYS leaves a lemony scent after using the toilet.

Brocc walks in and closes the door.

Brocc's voice: Now to-

Brocc pauses.

Brocc's voice: By the spires of Chromerria, what is that STENCH?! Ugh...it's like the fertiliser of an arbour beast after eating a huge mound of muddvak leavings! And...SWEET BEAN CAKES WITH HOT FUDGE ON TOP! WHAT DID HE LEAVE IN THE BOWL?!

Zed walks up to Kendall.

Zed: Is someone in the toilet?

Brocc opens the door, his eyes wide open and bloodshot.

Brocc: Don't do it, Zed...it's not...worth it...

Brocc stumbles away.

Zed: Oh, are you waiting too, Kendall?

Kendall: I'll be ready soon...

Kendall's thoughts: ...to lose my lunch...ooh, my stomach...

Zed: Okay then.

Zed walks in and closes the door.

***
Later...

Brocc walks up to Kendall.

Brocc: You're STILL waiting?!

Kendall: Oh, Zed's in there.

Brocc: WHAT?! But...he's probably unconscious in there! It's filled with an odour stronger than ether, I'm telling you!

A flushing sound is heard.

Brocc: And now he's pressed the flusher in his sleep!

The door opens, and Zed steps out.

Zed: All finished.

Brocc: You were hours, Zed! Are you okay?!

Kendall: Actually, he was only five minutes.

Brocc: Oh. Hey, what's that smell?

Zed: Oh, I cast prestidigitation. That toilet's cleaner and fresher than any cleaning staff can achieve!

Brocc: Good, cause I'm desperate to-

Bryn runs up to the door.

Bryn: Sorryladiesisfullhadchilliforlunchberightout!

Brocc: BRYN! NO!

Bryn runs in and closes the door.

Brocc: I can't take it anymore! My pants are about to be-

Bryn's voice: ITCHYYYYYYYYYY! OOCH-EE-AH!

Zed: Oh yeah, I picked rose scent. My bad.

Brocc: HAHAHAHAHAAH! Take THAT Bryn! Uh-oh...

That's Our Brocc! is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Mak sits in an armchair reading a newspaper. The front door opens and Emily walks in.

Emily: Hello! I'm home! (applause)

Mak smiles, stands and walks up to Emily, wrapping his arms around her as she embraces him.

Mak: Hello, dear.

Mak and Emily kiss, then let go of one another.

Mak: So how was your day at the office?

Emily: Oh, don't get me started...first the photocopier was jammed, then someone spilled milk on my favourite blouse.

Mak: Did you cry over it? (laughter)

Emily: And to top it all off, a typo in my contract ended up with my boss reducing my paycheque by $5.00!

Mak: Well, well, that's quite the..."clerical" error! (laughter)

Emily: And how was your day?

Mak: Absolutely wonderful.

Emily: Oh, good.

Mak: Except that the kids were sent home from school early due to some students having lice.

Emily: Oh dear!

Mak: It's fine, though. The principal says the rats'll take care of the lice. (laughter)

Emily: But what about the rats?

Mak: Simple. Frogs. (laughter)

Emily: But what about the frogs?

Mak: I don't know! Do I LOOK like a botanist? (laughter)

Bryn runs downstairs.

Bryn: Mummy! Daddy! Brocc buried my doll in the backyard!

Mak: That's our Brocc! (laughter and applause)

Brocc runs downstairs.

Brocc: I told you! I didn't do it! The dog did!

Emily: Now why would Kenny bury Bryn's toy in the yard?

Kendall runs into the room.

Kendall: Did someone mention my name?

Mak: NO! BAD KENDALL! BAD! We do NOT bark inside! Now go to the backyard!

Kendall: You STILL don't know I can speak human?! (laughter)

Mak: NO! That's a BAD Kendall! Outside!

Kendall whimpers and slowly walks away.

Mak: I knew we should've had him neut-

The doorbell rings.

Mak: Every time... (laughter)

Mak walks up to the front door and opens it. Erik is standing there.

Erik: Hello. (applause)

Mak: Whatever you're selling, we don't want any. (laughter)

Erik: Actually, I'm here to see your..."son".

Brocc: Me?

Bryn (sarcastic): No, the potted plant that LOOKS like you. (laughter)

We see a view of a plant with leaves resembling Brocc's hair.

Brocc: Hey, now that you mention it... (laughter)

Erik enters the room.

Mak: Would you like to come in, complete stranger? (laughter)

Erik: Brocc, you need to wake up.

Brocc: But I AM awake!

Erik: No. You are passed out in the middle of a busy street.

Emily: Brocc! Have you been dri-

Brocc: NO! Of course not!

Mak: That's our Brocc! (laughter)

Brocc: I can't consume alcohol because I'm a-

***
Brocc awakens and sits up. He is in the middle of a busy street.

Brocc: Wow, that's the last time I eat seven bowls of ramen in one sitting! What a weird dream...

Brocc looks ahead.

Brocc: Wait a minute...what's a drachomus doing in the middle of Silveria City...?

Random Passerby: That's our Brocc!

Everyone in the street laughs.

Brocc walks onto the stage.

Brocc: Ladies and whatevers, we were SUPPOSED to show you a Super-Short starring myself, entitled-

Bryn's voice: And ME, glue-slurper!

Brocc: Yes, and Bryn, entitled "Brockie and the Bryn", but-

Bryn's voice: I thought it was "Brynnie and the Brocc"!

Brocc: What? That sounds stupid!

Bryn's voice: YOU'RE stupid!

Brocc: No, I'M stupid!

Bryn's voice: Don't you DARE start that again!

Brocc: ANYWAY, the writers of these Super-Shorts feel that Bryn and I are in too many of these things, so instead, we have created this alternative starring one of the other characters of Crystals of Silveria. Enjoy!

***
Headmaster Stormshroud and the Rather Tall Pile of Paperwork

Spoiler:

***
Brocc: WOW! Wasn't that entertaining?

A few people in the audience clap slowly.

Brocc: Well, that's our Super-Short for now. See you next time!

Brocc sits on Zed's bed, his legs crossed and his hands on his knees. His eyes are closed.

Brocc (chanting): Sven...Sven...

Zed walks into the room and sees Brocc.

Brocc: ...Sven...

Zed: Uh...what are you doing...?

Brocc: I am meditating, Zander. I am trying to find the tiny kernel of my heart that DOESN'T despise my brother.

Zed: You mean Furry?

Brocc: No, I mean Sven.

Brocc opens one eye.

Brocc: Wait...you said "Furry"...?

Zed: Yep.

Brocc's eyes open wide.

Brocc: How do you know about him?!

Zed: Y-You...told me.

Brocc: Oh, good! For a second there I thought you-

A loud clicking sound is heard. Brocc's expression turns blank.

Brocc: WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND, MASTER?

Bryn walks into the room.

Bryn: Worked like an abjuration.

Zed: What the...? Bryn, what did you do?!

Bryn: Well, I figured Brocc was in such a deep state of meditation that I could hypnotise him. I must admit, it worked better than I expected!

Brocc: I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY, MASTER. WHADDAYA WANT?

Bryn: Brocc, I command you to neatly fold my smalls.

Brocc: HEH. HEH. HEH. YOU SAID "SMALLS", AND YOU ARE A HALFLING, WHICH MAKES YOU SMALL. THE IRONY IS DELICIOUS, MASTER.

Bryn: Are you gonna fold my underwear or not?!

Brocc: YES, MASTER.

Brocc's body levitates, and he floats through the door. Zed appears surprised.

Zed: Did he just-

Bryn: -belittle his master? Yep, he sure did!

Zed: No, I mean-

Bryn: Oh, right, the floaty thing. To be honest, I don't know what Brocc can do. And...I'd rather not know, you know?

Zed: No.

Bryn: Oh.

Bryn pauses.

Bryn: I better check on him.

Bryn leaves the room. After a moment, she calls out.

Bryn's voice: BROCC! What are you doing?!

Brocc's voice: FOLDING YOUR SMALLS, MASTER.

Bryn's voice: No, those aren't MY smalls, they're MAK'S! Although they may as well be called "bigs"!

Brocc's voice: BUT THIS UNDERWEAR HAS SWEAT STAINS AND STRONG ODOUR. ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT YOURS, MASTER?

Bryn's voice: Am I sure it's not...Brocc, I only just WASHED my underwear! And you know that Mak HATES having his things touched! Oh. Eheheheheeh...Mak! Come here a minute!

We hear loud bootsteps.

Mak's voice: Yeah, Bry- Huh?! Brocc, that's my underwear!

Bryn's voice: Let 'im have it, Mak!

Mak's voice: Oh, you better believe it! Take THIS!

Bryn's voice: Yeah! Wait...you gave him GOLD?!

Mak's voice: Well, it's the least I could do for him. After all, no-one else even DARES to fold my boxers!

Bryn's voice: But...but...

Mak's voice: You deserve every coin, Brocc. Thanks again!

We hear loud bootsteps.

Bryn's voice: Brocc, I order you to give me that gold!

Brocc's voice: NO, THIS IS MY GOLD. GET YOUR OWN. PERHAPS YOU'D PREFER SOME FRESH FRUIT, MASTER?

Bryn's voice: I'll give YOU fruit, Brocc! *razz*

Brocc's voice: EXCUSE MY BLUNTNESS, MASTER, BUT THAT WAS NOT FRUIT. IT WAS YOUR TONGUE PROTRUDING MAKING A NOISE.

Bryn's voice: Stupid "Guide to Hypnosis"! Well, that's 50 Gold down the proverbial toilet.

Brocc's voice: RIGHT AWAY, MASTER.

Bryn's voice: Wait, Brocc! NOOOOOOOO!

A flushing sound is heard. We cut back to a view of Zed.

Zed: Uh...what just happened...?

Brocc walks onto the stage carrying a large, open book.

Brocc: Ladies and fartichokes, it is my pleasure to introduce a very different tale than the ones you're used to. It takes place in a faraway realm known as Realmslandia, and features a princess, an evil sorcerer and a grand, heroic gnome! I call it The Adventure of the Heroic Gnome in...the Sorcerer-Nabbed Princess' Tale. Enjoy!

Brocc clears his throat. The scene fades to white.

***
The scene fades back in to reveal a very pink castle chamber filled with love hearts, plush unicorns and several plates of tempura scattered about.

Brocc's voice: We begin our tale in the bedchamber of the Fairy Princess-

Bryn's voice: That's FAIR princess, Grass-Clippings!

Brocc's voice: Oh, right...the FAIR Princess Bryn of Realmslandia.

Bryn pops into the room. She is wearing a fluffy pink dress and hat that are by no means true to her character.

"Bryn": I am the fair and helpless fairy princess Bryn, and I do fair and helpless things like brush fluffy unicorn toys and eat tasty prawn tempura.

Bryn's voice: WHAT?! I would NEVER do those things!

Brocc's voice: That's right, but PRINCESS Bryn would!

Bryn's voice: It's like you based this character on YOURSELF, Brocc!

Brocc's voice: Hey! Who's telling the story here?!

Bryn's voice: Ugh...fine, shutting up, Master Storyteller Brocc.

Brocc's voice: Thank you. Now, while Princess Bryn was stuffing herself with delicious fried and battered shrimp the size of a muddvak-

Each piece of tempura suddenly grows to the size of an adult muddvak.

Brocc's voice: The evil wizard Svenonborf appeared to kidnap her!

A gnome resembling Sven from Shell of Thal in a black cape pops into the room.

"Sven": Ha. Ha. Ha. I am the sorcerer Svenonborf the Incompetent...or is that Svenonborf the Incontinent...? Eh, just call me Sven. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Princess Bryn: Oh no! Whatever shall this helpless fairy princess do?!

Brocc's voice: Just then, the mighty hero Brocconccini appeared after hearing the princess' anguished cry for help!

A gnome resembling a human-proportioned Brocc appears. He is dressed in green hero's garb and is brandishing a pocky stick. The gnome speaks with an over-the-top heroic voice.

"Brocc": Halt, nastydoer!

Princess Bryn: Gasp! Who are you, mighty and attractive hero?

Bryn's voice: "Mighty and attractive hero"? You must be joking!

Brocc's voice: This is MY story, Bryn, so do kindly shut your vakmeat-hole, won't you? Anyway...

"Brocc": I am the mighty and heroic Brocconccini, here to save the fairy princess Bryn from the clutches of the baddy-two-boots Svenonborf! Ooh, that Svenonborf!

Svenonborf: You cannot stop me, Brocconccini, for I possess the Fried Trout of Flour!

Brocconccini: Well, somewhat coincidentally, I possess the Fried Bass of Curry AND the Mystical Pocky of Heroism!

Princess Bryn: If it's any consolation, I possess the Fried Hali-butt of Whipped Cream and the Arowana of Light Mayo.

Bryn's voice: Oh, come on! No-one puts whipped cream on fried halibut!

Brocc's voice: HEY! Just because CERTAIN gnomes put whipped cream on fried fish, that DOESN'T give you the right to criticise, Bryn!

***
The scene cuts back to the stage. Bryn and Brocc stand there, glaring at each other.

Bryn: That story is terrible, Brocc!

Brocc: Yeah...well...you're so terrible that I'm surprised no-one's thrown the book at you!

After a pause, Brocc pathetically throws his book five inches in front of him towards Bryn.

Brocc: NNGH!

Bryn bursts out laughing.

Bryn: Oh, what a magnificent throw, "mighty and heroic Brocconccini"!

Brocc: THAT'S IT! I'm leaving!

Brocc stomps off-stage in anger. Bryn looks at the audience and smiles.

Bryn: And so, the FAIR princess Bryn showed just how not-useless she was. Well, that's all the time we have for now. See you next time!

Brocc walks up to Zed, his hands folded behind his back.

Brocc: Hey, Zander?

Zed: Uh...yeah, Brocc?

Brocc swings his hands from behind his back, revealling a cupcake with blue icing.

Brocc: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

Zed smiles.

Zed: I appreciate the gesture, but-

Brocc: What? You don't like cream-filled vanilla sponge?

Zed: Of course I do! It's just that today's not my birthday.

Brocc: Wait...what?! But Erik told me your birthday was during the Dragon Festival!

Zed: It is. Dragon Festival Day TWO. Today is Dragon Festival Day ONE.

Brocc: Oh. Then your birthday is-

Zed: -tomorrow, yes.

Brocc: Oh. Well I feel like an idiot.

Bryn enters the room.

Bryn: Hey Zed! Let's go to The Naked Drake for no particular reason.

Brocc: Bryn? Bryn? No. Just...no.

Bryn: No? But you said the codeword: "I feel like an idiot"!

Brocc: It's not Zed's birthday today.

Bryn: What? But you said-

Brocc: Forget what I said! I mean you believed something that came out of MY mouth?!

Bryn: But we've been planning for weeks!

Brocc: Well, we'll have to postpone it.

Bryn: Till when?

Brocc: Dragon Festival Day Two.

Bryn: TOMORROW?!

Bryn sighs.

Bryn: Fine...I'll see if Warren and Tabitha'll let us keep our booking for an extra day.

Bryn runs from the room.

Brocc: And I'LL...erm...NOT hide some presents again.

Brocc pauses, then leaves the room. Zed scraches his head.

Zed: Oh wait...maybe my birthday IS today after all...

BUTT MODE ENABLED

Amethyst studies an ancient butt by candlelight. A knock sounds on the butt.

Amethyst: Enter.

The butt opens and Zed walks in.

Zed: I'm not interrupting, am I?

Amethyst: No, of course not. Do sit down.

Zed sits in a chair. He notices the candle.

Zed: Butt butt butt butt butt? (You read by candlelight?)

Amethyst: I prefer it. Artificial lighting just feels too unnatural.

Amethyst smiles.

Amethyst: And I must say that your Butt is becoming much more fluent.

Zed: Butt. Butt butt. (Thank you. Much appreciated.)

Amethyst: You do realise that speaking every language you know does not make you sound any more intelligent, do you not?

Zed: Butt butt butt... (That's the problem...)

Amethyst: Problem?

Zed: Butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt butt. (Every sentence I say is in a different language.)

Amethyst: Oh, my goodness! How did this happen?!

Zed: Butt butt butt... (I don't know...)

***
Mak: Come again?

Amethyst: It is true. So far he has said things in Butt, Axian, Butt, Butt, Butt, Butt and all three dialects of Butt. The problem is that the language is randomly-determined each time. Every once in a while, he manages to utter something in Common.

Zed: Butt butt butt butt butt. (I hope it isn't permanent...)

Thobrun: Aye, that's Butt, alright.

Zed: *fart sound* (Wait, maybe it was that potion that Gazzo gave me...)

Bryn: Is...Is he...speaking fluent Butt?!

Amethyst: Indeed.

Gazzo: Well, I have no idea what coulda caused this one.

Gazzo whistles as he kicks the potion buttle out of sight.

Amethyst: Well, we just have to hope it wears off eventually. I am afraid that there is nothing I can do.

Zed: Butt, butt butt butt butt butt día butt! (Oh, this is going to be a LONG butt!)

BUTT MODE ENABLED

Zed sits on his butt, his long legs crossed and his knees pointing at opposite ends. Zed's hands are resting atop his butt. Zed's eyes are closed, and he is not moving.

Zed's thoughts: Okay, clear your butt, Zed...focus on awakening your inner-

Brocc: HEY ZED! GUESS WHAT'S HAPPENING IN TOW-

Brocc runs into Zed's bedroom, and is stopped in his tracks when he sees Zed.

Brocc: Uh...Zed?

Zed remains motionless, but he still acknowledges Brocc.

Zed: Yes, Brocc?

Brocc: What...uh...what are you doing?

Zed: I'm meditating. Well, sort of, anyway.

Brocc: MEDITATING?! What, did you dilettante as a butt vendor or something?

Zed: Shugenja, Brocc.

Brocc: Yeah, one of those.

Zed: Nope.

Brocc: You didn't? Then why bother meditating?

Zed: I'm trying to find a way to reach my mindscape at will, butt so far it's not working.

Brocc: I see...well maybe I can help.

Zed: How?

Brocc: Maybe if I form a physical connection with you and use my butt powers, it'll help speed up the process!

Zed opens his right eye.

Zed: It's worth a shot.

Brocc: A BUTT-shot!

Cricket sounds are heard. Zed closes his eye.

Brocc: Let's do this!

Brocc runs to Zed's right butt and clasps his right wrist.

Brocc: Wow, your gloves are so soft! Personally, I hate gloves, but if I liked 'em, you can be sure I'd want a pair just like these! Well, except mine would be butt, of course.

Brocc exhales, then he begins to sing. His voice sounds pleasant, with soft, otherworldly echoes.


A butt surrounded by a frame of rainbow light opens up at the foot of Zed's butt. Through it we can see a bustling medieval-inspired butt. Erik is clearly visible, and he is communicating with a brunette woman standing next to what resembles a butt. Brocc begins to panic, letting go of Zed's wrist. The butt closes and disappears.

Brocc: That was a close one...

Zed opens his eyes.

Zed: That was weird.

Brocc: What was weird?

Zed: The only thing I envisioned was a rainbow butt...

Brocc: What? A rainbow butt?! There's no such thing! Eheheheheh...

A bead of sweat rolls down Brocc's butt.

Zed: Uh...oooookay then...

The camera pans behind Brocc to reveal Bryn standing in the hallway. She appears furious, and is wielding an enormous butt.

Bryn: BROCC! How many times have I told you not to sing within a 5000-foot radius of myself?!

Brocc suddenly freezes.

Brocc: Butt.

Bryn: I'LL BUTT YOU! YAAAAAAAAH!

Bryn runs towards Brocc.

Brocc: YAH!

Brocc leaps off the butt and runs out the butt, followed by Bryn.

Bryn: Come back and fight, coward!

Brocc: But I'm allergic to butt!

Zed sits there, staring at his buttway.

Zed: Uh...what just happened?

Zed stands in his kitchen. On the butt in front of him is a large mixing butt, some flour, two eggs, milk, water, sugar and a small bottle of butt essence.

Zed: Okay, time to make these butt.

Zed puts some flour into the mixing butt, then he adds some butt essence. He then picks up an egg and hits it on the rim of the butt, smashing it and covering his butt in its contents.

Zed: Ack!

Amethyst enters the butt.

Amethyst: My word! You appear to be having some trouble, Zed.

Zed scrubs his butt under the tap with some liquid soap.

Zed: Yeah, I've never been good at cracking eggs.

Amethyst: Allow me.

Amethyst picks up the egg and cracks it with skill, emptying the yolk and white into the butt without getting a drop on her butt. She then holds her butt over the egg, causing it to transform into two, which confuses Zed.

Zed: Uh...is that a good idea? The recipe didn't mention adding evocation to the mix.

Amethyst giggles.

Amethyst: Part of a good recipe is customising it to your butt.

Zed: Well, I suppose you're right.

Amethyst: Now, I will leave you to mix the ingredients.

Zed: Okay then.

Zed dries his butt and returns to the counter.

***
Zed: Okay, time to add the sugar.

Emily enters the kitchen.

Emily: Um...if I might make a suggestion, honey is a perfect substitute. It is natural and very sweet.

Zed: Oh, that sounds good, but I don't have any-

Emily begins adding golden honey to the butt.

Zed: -honey. Okay then...

Brocc: You know what else this butt needs?

Brocc is suddenly standing there.

Zed: WHOA! Brocc! Don't do that!

Brocc: But I really must! There...one drop of butt oil.

Zed: What...? Why-

Brocc: It's better than adding salt.

Zed: This recipe doesn't call for salt!

Brocc: But it's going to taste sooooooo much better now!

Zed: But-

***
Thobrun: Now, the trick is not to add too much milk to the butt...

Zed: Uh-

***
Bryn: Just a little pinch of butt, for that tree-bark-y taste!

Zed: I don't like-

***
Mak: You need to stir it vigorously, to keep the butt consistent.

Zed: It's supposed to be-

***
Kendall: And just a little enchantment to bring out its better qualities before it goes into the oven.

Kendall shoves the butt into the oven, then slams the butt. Zed is speechless.

Zed: My...my butt...

Kendall: ...will be ready in an hour. Now, for the icing...

Zed stands staring at the oven, his butt agape, before he hangs his head in sorrow.

***
A piece of golden butt sits on a pale blue porcelain plate in Zed's butt. A fork rests next to it. The others stare at him in anticipation. Zed swallows loudly.

Zed: Okay...time to try this butt...

Zed picks up the fork and breaks off a chunk of butt. He puts it in his butt and chews once. After a brief pause, his eyes light up and he finishes his mouthful, swallowing it.

Zed: This is really good...

Amethyst: The best dessert comes from a group effort.

Emily: We all worked together, each of us making our own contribution.

Zed: You're right. I'm so happy to have friends such as you guys!

Zed smiles.

Brocc: And, with your new role as-

Mak: BROCC! What did I tell you about spoiling future plots for the readers?!

Brocc: Ah, it seems the student has become the butt.

Mak: Huh?

Brocc: You just broke the butt wall! You're as bad as I am! HA!

Mak: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Everybody laughs.

Thobrun and the Giant Butt
BUTT MODE ENABLED

The party, minus Thobrun, sits at a table in The Naked Butt.

Kendall: So I hear this tavern's going to be converted into a Bake n' Butt restaurant.

Zed: Bake n' Butt? I've heard of that...

Kendall: Oh, you'd love it, Zed! It's a-

Thobrun's voice: G'day, mates!

Thobrun is suddenly standing at the table holding a large butt.

Bryn: I thought you were going "dwarven fishing" in Lake Silveria.

Thobrun: I did! Take a look at what I caught!

Thobrun empties the contents of the butt, a butt as large as Bryn, onto the table.

Bryn: By the seas of Euroria...

Brocc: Yes, I WILL have butt with that!

Mak: That's our Brocc!

Everyone laughs.

***
Brocc Eats the Giant Butt
BUTT MODE ENABLED...AGAIN

Brocc sits in Zed's living area reading a butt entitled "MASK OF AKANIUS EPISODE SCRIPTS".

Brocc: So it was FURBENDINK who created the rainbow butt spell...that explains so much, and yet so very little at the same ti-

Bryn's voice: BROCCOLI JOY FARSHOT!

Bryn is suddenly standing there.

Brocc: It's "Choy", not "Joy". Get it right!

Bryn: Sorry, I get confused because some of your middle names are for girls: Svetlana...Anabelle...Butt...

Brocc: Actually, Butt is a butt, not a girl's name.

Bryn: It is?

Brocc: Yeah. Buttwheat noodles.

Bryn: Huh. Speaking of butt, Kendall told me that you ate Thobrun's butt. By yourself. An entire tonne of sashimi.

Brocc: Yep.

Bryn: How?!

Brocc: Well, Thobrun offered, and I was all like, "Why yes, I WILL have butt with that!"

Mak's head pops up into the kitchen window from outside.

Mak: That's our Brocc!

Everyone laughs.

***
Brocc Eats at Bake n' Butt
BUTT MODE ENABLED...FOR A THIRD TIME

Zed and Brocc stand at opposite ends of the service butt in the newly-opened Bake n' Butt burger butt.

Zed: What do you mean the butt machine's out-of-order?!

Cashier #1: No, it's not "out-of-order", it's "ON order". There's been a delay on its delivery.

Zed: Oh, okay then...

Brocc: -and I'll have a Marinated Butt Burger, and a DOUBLE Marinated Butt Burger, and a Monster Butt Burger with extra butt, and a Chocolate Mousse Supreme, and Alph's favourite: strawberry butt balls! Oh, and a diet soda.

Cashier #2: Actually, I don't think elves like strawberries...

Brocc: No, not "elf", "Alph"! Ah, never mind.

Cashier #2: Would you like butt with that order?

Brocc: No thanks.

Mak calls out from a butt.

Mak: That's our Brocc!

Everyone in the butt laughs.

BUTT MODE ENABLED

Kendall walks up to a butt, where Brocc is standing.

Kendall: Oh, is the butt occupied?

Brocc: Yep! Join the queue, Kenny.

Kendall: Oh...okay.

Kendall stands behind Brocc.

Kendall: You do know that it's mainly family who call me "Kenny", right?

Brocc: Oh yeah, like your sisters, right?

Kendall: Yes, like my butt sister.

Brocc: I know what you mean. My sister Katalina calls me "Butt", which I think is her way of saying-

A farting sound is heard.

Brocc: -YAY! The butt's free!

The butt opens, and Mak steps out.

Mak: She's all yours, butts!

Mak walks away.

Brocc: Wait...MAK was the one in there?!

Kendall sniffs the air, then quickly covers his butt with his hand while he gags.

Kendall: I think I'm going to be sick...

Brocc: What? You've never used a public butt before?

Kendall: I haven't used one after Mak, if that's what you mean.

Brocc: Well, I have plenty of times, and I assure you that Mak ALWAYS leaves a butt scent after using the butt.

Brocc walks in and closes the butt.

Brocc's voice: Now to-

Brocc pauses.

Brocc's voice: By the butt of Chromerria, what is that STENCH?! Ugh...it's like the fertiliser of an arbour butt after eating a huge mound of buttvak leavings! And...SWEET BUTT CAKES WITH BUTT FUDGE ON TOP! WHAT DID HE LEAVE IN THE BUTT?!

Zed walks up to Kendall.

Zed: Is someone in the butt?

Brocc opens the butt, his eyes wide open and bloodshot.

Brocc: Don't do it, Zed...it's not...worth it...

Brocc stumbles away.

Zed: Oh, are you waiting too, Kendall?

Kendall: I'll be ready soon...

Kendall's thoughts: ...to lose my lunch...ooh, my butt...

Zed: Okay then.

Zed walks in and closes the butt.

***
Later...

Brocc walks up to Kendall.

Brocc: You're STILL waiting?!

Kendall: Oh, Zed's in there.

Brocc: WHAT?! But...he's probably unconscious in there! It's filled with an odour stronger than butt, I'm telling you!

A farting sound is heard.

Brocc: And now he's pressed the butt in his sleep!

The butt opens, and Zed steps out.

Zed: All finished.

Brocc: You were hours, Zed! Are you okay?!

Kendall: Actually, he was only five minutes.

Brocc: Oh. Hey, what's that smell?

Zed: Oh, I cast prestidigitation. That butt's cleaner and fresher than any cleaning staff can achieve!

Brocc: Good, cause I'm desperate to-

Bryn runs up to the butt.

Bryn: Sorryladiesisfullhadchilliforlunchberightout!

Brocc: BRYN! NO!

Bryn runs in and closes the butt.

Brocc: I can't take it anymore! My pants are about to be-

Bryn's voice: ITCHYYYYYYYYYY! OOCH-EE-AH!

Zed: Oh yeah, I picked butt scent. My bad.

Brocc: HAHAHAHAHAAH! Take THAT Bryn! Uh-oh...

BUTT MODE ENABLED

Brocc sits on Zed's bed, his legs crossed and his hands on his butt. His eyes are closed.

Brocc (chanting): Sven...Sven...

Zed walks into the butt and sees Brocc.

Brocc: ...Sven...

Zed: Uh...what are you doing...?

Brocc: I am meditating, Zander. I am trying to find the tiny kernel of my butt that DOESN'T despise my brother.

Zed: You mean Furry?

Brocc: No, I mean Sven.

Brocc opens one eye.

Brocc: Wait...you said "Furry"...?

Zed: Yep.

Brocc's eyes open wide.

Brocc: How do you know about him?!

Zed: Y-You...told me.

Brocc: Oh, good! For a second there I thought you-

A loud clicking sound is heard. Brocc's butt turns blank.

Brocc: WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND, BUTTSTER?

Bryn walks into the butt.

Bryn: Worked like an abjuration.

Zed: What the...? Bryn, what did you do?!

Bryn: Well, I figured Brocc was in such a deep butt of meditation that I could hypnotise him. I must admit, it worked better than I expected!

Brocc: I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY, BUTTSTER. WHADDAYA WANT?

Bryn: Brocc, I command you to neatly fold my butt.

Brocc: HEH. HEH. HEH. YOU SAID "BUTT", AND YOU ARE A BUTTLING, WHICH MAKES YOU BUTT. THE IRONY IS DELICIOUS, BUTTSTER.

Bryn: Are you gonna fold my butt or not?!

Brocc: YES, BUTTSTER.

Brocc's butt levitates, and he floats through the butt. Zed appears surprised.

Zed: Did he just-

Bryn: -belittle his buttster? Yep, he sure did!

Zed: No, I mean-

Bryn: Oh, right, the floaty thing. To be honest, I don't know what Brocc can do. And...I'd rather not know, you know?

Zed: No.

Bryn: Oh.

Bryn pauses.

Bryn: I better check on him.

Bryn leaves the room. After a moment, she calls out.

Bryn's voice: BROCC! What are you doing?!

Brocc's voice: FOLDING YOUR BUTT, BUTTSTER.

Bryn's voice: No, those aren't MY butt, they're MAK'S! Although they may as well be called "butt"!

Brocc's voice: BUT THIS BUTT HAS SWEAT STAINS AND STRONG ODOUR. ARE YOU SURE IT'S NOT YOURS, BUTTSTER?

Bryn's voice: Am I sure it's not...Brocc, I only just WASHED my butt! And you know that Mak HATES having his butt touched! Oh. Eheheheheeh...Mak! Come here a minute!

We hear loud buttsteps.

Mak's voice: Yeah, Bry- Huh?! Brocc, that's my butt!

Bryn's voice: Let 'im have it, Mak!

Mak's voice: Oh, you better believe it! Take THIS!

Bryn's voice: Yeah! Wait...you gave him BUTT?!

Mak's voice: Well, it's the least I could do for him. After all, no-one else even DARES to fold my butt!

Bryn's voice: But...but...

Mak's voice: You deserve every butt, Brocc. Thanks again!

We hear loud buttsteps.

Bryn's voice: Brocc, I order you to give me that butt!

Brocc's voice: NO, THIS IS MY BUTT. GET YOUR OWN. PERHAPS YOU'D PREFER SOME FRESH FRUIT, BUTTSTER?

Bryn's voice: I'll give YOU fruit, Brocc! *fart*

Brocc's voice: EXCUSE MY BLUNTNESS, BUTTSTER, BUT THAT WAS NOT FRUIT. IT WAS YOUR BUTT PROTRUDING MAKING A NOISE.

Bryn's voice: Stupid "Guide to Hypnosis"! Well, that's 50 Butt down the proverbial butt.

Brocc's voice: RIGHT AWAY, BUTTSTER.

Bryn's voice: Wait, Brocc! NOOOOOOOO!

A farting sound is heard. We cut back to a view of Zed.

Zed: Uh...what just happened...?

BUTT MODE ENABLED

Alph and Ocre are training.

Ocre: You've definitely improved, Alph.

Alph stops swinging at Ocre.

Alph: Thanks...(fart)...Ocre...

Ocre: Let's finish up for today.

Alph: Good idea. I could use a rest.

Amy: Who wants butt?

Amy walks up to Ocre and Alph carrying a cardboard butt lined with butt paper cups.

Ocre: You read my mind!

Amy: How many times must I tell you, Ocre? I'm an esper, not a butt!

Ocre: No, it was a metaphor.

Amy: Oh, right. Silly me! Anyway, here's your chilled chilli butt, Ocre.

Amy hands one of the cups to Ocre.

Ocre: Thanks. I could use a cool butt.

Furbendink: Cool?! That butt is full of chilli!

Furbendink is suddenly standing there.

Amy: Ah, Furbendink! Here's your...uh...cup of sweet whipped butt.

Amy hands a particularly large cup to Furbendink.

Furbendink: YAAAAAAAAY! My favourite!

Furbendink runs away with delight.

Ocre: I don't know how he can drink that by itself.

Amy: And for Alph, one steaming-butt plain butt butt.

Amy hands a cup to Alph.

Alph: Thank you, Amy.

Amy smiles sweetly.

Amy: So...are you going to drink it?

Alph: In a minute.

Amy: Oh. I'll come back shortly, then. I'm sure Crynock's eagerly awaiting his melon butt.

Alph: No problem.

Amy begins walking away.

Amy's thoughts: I'll quickly give Crynock his butt, then race back to Alph. This time, I WILL see his beautiful butt!

One minute later...

Amy approaches Alph and Ocre. Alph is wearing his breather and holding his cup.

Amy: I'm back!

Alph: Oh, hi!

Amy looks at Alph's cup, then at his butt.

Amy: You haven't drunk your butt?

Alph: Actually, I have.

Amy: How much?

Alph: All of it.

Amy: WHAT?!

Alph: It was really good. Thanks again!

Amy: You finished an entire large butt in under a minute? How?!

Alph: I was thirsty. Training's intense when Ocre's involved!

Ocre: He's not wrong! Haha!

Amy: But it was scalding butt!

Alph: Yeah? And?

Amy: How can you guzzle butt butt so quickly?

Alph: I must be part-drachomus or something.

Alph and Ocre laugh. Amy spins around, her eyes shadowed as a look of sorrow appears on her butt.

Amy's thoughts: No! My plans have been thwarted once again! Mark my words: I WILL see Alph's butt, even if I have to pry that mask from it myself!

Amy laughs in a semi-sinister fashion.

Ocre: What do you see in that butt, Alph?

Alph shrugs and makes an "I dunno" sound.

BUTT MODE ENABLED

Scene: Zander's House: Silvertooth: Afternoon

Zed, Amethyst, Mak, Bryn and Brocc stand in Zed's living area.

Mak: Are you absolutely sure about this, Zed?

Zed: Yes, I'm sure! It was definitely a butt, I'm sure of it!

Bryn: And...it watched you from afar?

Zed: Yes!

Brocc: And then it just...turned around and walked back into the butt?

Zed: I know how random this sounds, but I swear it's the truth!

Zed sighs and shakes his head.

Zed: Mr. Parker was right: The Silvertooth Butt have butt living in them.

Amethyst: I believe Zed to be most correct.

Mak and Bryn look at Amethyst.

Bryn: You're not serious...?

Amethyst: Zed is a Butt de Butt now. I am certain that, if he claims to have witnessed a golden-haired butt on the outskirts of Silvertooth Butt, then he must have done so.

Brocc: She's right. Zander IS a Butt de Butt, which probably makes him special or something.

Bryn looks at Brocc and raises an eyebrow.

Bryn: Okay, just WHO is this..."Zander" person, anyway?

Brocc: Why, Zed, of course!

Bryn looks at Zed.

Bryn: So your real name still starts with a "Zed"?

Zed nods.

Zed: M-hm.

Mak: So there's a butt in the butt. What's the big deal?

Zed: Well...I'm certain that the butt...is actually Butt's missing butt, Butt.

Bryn groans.

Bryn: Not this again...look, Zed, Butt only has ONE butt. It doesn't matter how many times you say it, but you need to accept the fact. Twelve Stars, even BUTT knows that!

Zed: Then why do I still remember butt?

Amethyst: Perhaps you are merely recalling someone you'd forgotten after your initial false awakening?

Zed: I don't think so. And I'm going to save butt, even if none of you will help me.

Zed walks up to his butt butt and steps through it.

Mak: Zed, wait! Zander...!

Zed closes the butt behind him. Mak looks at the others.

Mak: Maybe we were a little hard on him...

Bryn: So what? Kid needs toughening up if he's gonna be a powerful butt-spanning Butt de Butt, isn't he? Just give him a big wedge of butt and he'll cheer up!

Brocc shakes his head and looks at Bryn.

Brocc: I don't think that's gonna cut it this time, Buttface...

Brocc walks onto the stage.

Brocc: Hellooooooo, Silveria City!

The audience members whisper amongst themselves.

Audience Member #1: So these short-shorts are canonically set in Silveria City, then?

Audience Member #2: I don't think these things are canon at all, to be honest.

Audience Member #3: I LIKE CAKE!

Brocc clears his throat.

Audience Member #3: I'M SORRY!

Brocc: Anyways, I'm Broccoli Choy blah blah blah Farshot, and-

Bryn's voice: And I'm Bryn, aka everyone's favourite Crystals of Silveria character!

Bryn walks onto the stage.

Brocc: What the...? Bryn? What are you doing?!

Bryn: Well, there are three mini-eps in this installment, so there are three presenters too!

Brocc: Hey, don't spoil the theme! And where's the third presenter?

Gazzo's voice: Right 'ere, mate!

Gazzo is suddenly standing next to Brocc.

Brocc: WAAH! Don't do that, Gary!

Gazzo: Look, the name's Gazzo, a'right? Anyways, here is the first mini-ep. Enjoy!

Brocc: But I'M supposed to be prese-

Mak Buys a New Sword 3

Spoiler:

Gazzo: Wasn't that fun, folks?

Brocc: Okay, I'M gonna host the next-

Bryn: And now, it's time for a mini-ep starring ME!

Brocc: Bryn! I swear I'm gonna-

Bryn & Brocc Fest

Spoiler:

Bryn: That was a hoot and a half! I wrote that one, by the way.

Brocc: And it shows in the lame punchline you put in. Now, it's time to do MY contribu-

Mak's voice: Okay, everyone, it's time for-

Brocc: MAKKMAK CORNELIUS CLAY! DON'T YOU EVEN DARE!

Mak's voice: -cake. It's time for cake.

Brocc: Oh. Save me a piece? Uh...please?

We hear crickets chirping. Brocc smiles.

Brocc: Oh boy, I can't WAIT for that cake! But first, it's time for a little...

Shameless Self-Brocc-motion

Spoiler:

Scene 1: Silvertooth: Evening

We see Bryn and Brocc wandering through the streets of Zed's hometown. Bryn is dressed in a yellow duck costume, whereas Brocc is dressed as a vampire.

Bryn: Uh...remind me what we're doing again?

Brocc speaks with a stereotypical vampire voice.

Brocc: Duh! Ve are doing ze 'alloween! HAHAHAAH!

Lightning suddenly flashes in the sky.

Bryn: And just what IS "Halloween" when it's at home?

Brocc uses his normal voice.

Brocc: It's a tradition in Zed's world that celebrates the supernatural. Kids visit houses at night in spooky costumes and threaten occupants for belly-aching amounts of candy, while grown-ups party all night long!

Bryn: And I take it we're-

Brocc: -asking for treats, yes.

Bryn: Well, I know what I'D rather be doing...wait...what are YOU supposed to be?

Brocc uses his vampire voice again.

Brocc: I...am a WAHMPEER! HAHAHA!

Lightning flashes again.

Bryn: A "wum-pier"...?

Brocc: Actually, most peeps pronounce it as "vampire". They drink blood and avoid sunlight.

Bryn: So you're dressed as something you made up.

Brocc: No, vampires exist! Really they do! Just not in Junihoshi.

Bryn: So what, they exist in Zed's world?

Brocc: Only in mythology. And a number of popular fictional works. Ever heard of Twi-

Bryn: Get to the point.

Brocc: Right...anyway, there is only one world in the multiverse that has actual, real vampires. I think it's called...Starmetal...or something.

Bryn: And how do you know that?

Brocc: Oh, Erik told me.

Bryn: Zed's stalker?

Brocc: He's not his stalker! He's his MENTOR.

Bryn: Same thing.

Brocc: Not really. Anyway, we're gonna go door-knocking for candy.

Bryn: By scaring the occupants.

Brocc: Yeah!

Bryn: Then tell me, dear Brocconcini, why you think a fluffy yellow DUCK is threatening!

Brocc: Are you freaking kidding me?! Ducks are vicious! Not as vicious as geese or swans, but-

Bryn: Now. Come. On. Swans are the most elegant avians in the world. Well, THIS world, at least.

Brocc: That's what YOU think, Brynnie! Remember when I was attacked last week?

Bryn: That wasn't a swan! It was a guy NAMED Swann. And he only chased you because you ate his bagel.

Brocc: Hey! That bagel was sitting half-eaten on a plate outside a café with no visible owner! What was I supposed to do, leave it and let it go to waste?!

Bryn: Yes, Brocc, that is EXACTLY what any NORMAL person would do.

Brocc: Well, I had anything but a normal upbringing, so excuse me if my behaviour is a LITTLE odd!

Bryn: Right, well that explains why we're celebrating a custom that nobody in this town, let alone the entire WORLD, even knows.

Brocc: Look, let's just at least TRY to get some candy, m'kay?

Bryn sighs.

Bryn: Fine...

Bryn's thoughts: ...but I look forward to saying "I told you so, Brocc!"

***
Bryn and Brocc walk up to a front door.

Bryn: Now what are we supposed to say when they answer?

Brocc: "Trick or treat!"

Bryn: Right.

Brocc: And don't forget to smile and hold up your basket.

Bryn holds up her basket, which is a plastic Jack-O-Lantern with a black handle.

Bryn: You mean this ridiculous toy?

Brocc: Yeah!

Brocc knocks on the door.

Brocc: And now, we wai-

The door opens, revealing an elderly lady.

Lady: Yes?

Bryn and Brocc smile and hold up their baskets.

Bryn and Brocc: "Trick or treat!"

Bryn's thoughts: There's no WAY this is gonna work...

Lady: Ooh, aren't you kids sweet? Let me see what I have for you...

The lady walks back into her house. Bryn's jaw drops.

***
Bryn and Brocc walk past some houses, their baskets crammed full of candy.

Bryn: I don't believe this...

Brocc: I told you so, Brocc! I mean "Bryn".

Bryn: Our baskets are completely full...

Brocc: Yeah! I thought we'd have to visit every door in town to get a haul THIS big!

Bryn: And yet we only went to one house. Boy, that lady sure was nice enough to give us all these treats.

Brocc: I'll say. I think we-

We see a cyan ripple appear in the air around Bryn and Brocc, which gradually shifts to silver. Bryn's eyes widen as Brocc' voice is tuned out.

Bryn: By the stars...

Brocc: -and pig out on candy back at Zander's house!

Bryn: Where are we, Brocc?

Brocc: Uh...near Parker's Polearms, I think.

Bryn: Right...and why are the buildings so tall and weird-looking?

Brocc: Tall and...what the WHAT?!

The scene zooms out to reveal Bryn and Brocc standing on a futuristic city street. A guy climbs off what resembles a motorcycle and removes his helmet. Brocc runs up to him.

Brocc: Hey! You there!

Guy: Huh?

The guy sees Bryn and Brocc.

Guy: Oh, hi there.

Brocc: Where the heck are we?

Guy: Oh, this is LAN Boulevard. You here for the Midakaoi Online tournament?

Brocc: "Midakaoi Online"...? But...that game doesn't exist in-

Brocc's eyes widen.

Bryn: Brocc? Wh-What's going on...?

Brocc's eyes widen.

Brocc's thoughts: Bryn and I...are in the wandering world!

To be Continued...

Scene 2: Tournament Hall: Afternoon

Bryn and Brocc follow the motorcyclist into the building.

Brocc: I just don't get it...

Bryn: Wow, this place is amazing!

Motorcyclist: You've never been here before?

Bryn: Nope, can't say I have.

Brocc: We were in Silvertooth, and now we're here. How are we here?

Motorcyclist: Well, how many hours have you clocked in the new expansion?

Bryn: Expansion?

Motorcyclist: Yeah! Three new playable factions? That was a day-one download for me!

Bryn: Download?

Brocc: How are we even here? Unless...

Motorcyclist: You mean you haven't played the new content? Wow, you got guts!

Bryn pulls a calm, smug expression.

Bryn: That's what they tell me, heehee!

Brocc: BRYN! BY THE SPIRES OF CHROMERRIA, WILL YOU STOP PANICKING ALREADY?!

Bryn: Uh...clearly YOU'RE the one panicking, you dweeb!

Brocc: Well, I have a good reason to panic, considering we've-

Brocc sees Bryn and the motorcyclist staring at him, and a bead of sweat appears on his brow.

Brocc: Eheheh...I mean...uh-

Bryn: What is it?

Brocc: Well...uh...wh-what's this tournament thing?

Motorcyclist: Oh, you'd love it! Basically, entrants gen a new character and race to get to Lv. 20. The prize is 25,000 bits.

Brocc: Ooh, I LOVE bits! Sign me up!

Bryn: Yeah, I'll join in too...

Bryn's thoughts: ...although I have NO IDEA what "bits" are...I hope they're bits of gold...or rubies...

Motorcyclist: Awesome! Let's get prepped for LockDown, then.

Brocc: Yeah, Lo-

Brocc's eyes widen.

Brocc: D-Did you s-s-say...oh, crud.

The scene cuts to black.

Scene 3: Unknown Location: Unknown Time of Day

We hear a woman's voice echo through the darkness.

Voice: Hey! Are you okay? Wake up!

The darkness splits horizontally and stretches in the manner of eyelids opening. We see a brief double blink. The scene clears to reveal the face of a beautiful elven woman, with long, blonde hair and shimmering green irises. A glowing green name over her head reads "BrynDeLaBellaRog", while the text underneath reads "Midiora - Lv. 1".

Brocc's voice: Wh-What...happened...?

The woman helps "Brocc" to his feet.

Woman: You were passed out on the ground, so I'm here to help you. Are you alright?

Brocc's voice: Well, I'm fine now, thanks to the helpful assistance of a beautiful woman such as yourself, Miss...uh..."BrynDeLaBellaRog Midiora"...?

The woman raises an eyebrow.

BrynDeLaBellaRog: Wait...your voice is...

Brocc: Oh, snap! We're inside Midakaoi Online! This is TERRIBLE! I...I gotta find my buddy Bryn and get outta here!

BrynDeLaBellaRog: BROCC?!

We cut to a view of both people. "Brocc" has become a tall human with green hair and eyes. The name above his head reads "BrocconciniFarsh", with the text underneath reading "Midiora - Lv. 1".

BrocconciniFarsh: Yeah? How do you-

BrocconciniFarsh's eyes widen.

Brocc: Bryn?!

BrynDeLaBellaRog growls.

Bryn: I might've known when I saw your name, "BrocconciniFarsh"! I mean, what kind of name is that, anyway?!

Brocc: Look, I forgot about the 16-count character limit, alright? Anyway, what's with YOUR name?

Bryn: Well, I guess I gave them my real name when I signed up, and they gave that name to me in this world.

Brocc: Your real name is Bryn de la Bella Rog?

Bryn: Of course not! I guess the character limit thingy shortened Rogue to "Rog".

Brocc: PFFFFFAHAHAHAHA!

Bryn: What's so funny?!

Brocc: Rog! Sounds like "frog"! You've changed from a duck to a-

Bryn trips Brocc to the ground.

Brocc: Hey! What was THAT for?!

Bryn: Well, YOUR name sounds like "Fart"!

Brocc leaps to his feet.

Brocc: Take that back!

Bryn: Make me!

Brocc: Oh yeah? Well-

Bryn: I mean, YOU got us into this mess, didn't you? Rendered unconscious, with our minds implanted into some bizarre imaginary world.

Brocc: Replace "implanted" with "connected, and "imaginary" with "virtual", and you're spot-on. And I didn't ask to be trapped in here, okay?

Bryn: No, it's not okay. You were the one who practically raised his hand and said, "I wanna play! I wanna play!"

Brocc: Well, YOU didn't have to tag along like you always do, did you, Froggy?

Bryn: Ooh, you're infuriating, Fart-Nugget!

Brocc: Well, when I win, I won't be sharing ANY bits with you!

Bryn: I don't even know what those are, Brocc! Bits of what?!

Brocc: CURRENCY, Bryn! 25,000 units of CURRENCY!

Bryn's eyes widen.

Bryn: Currency? As in-

Brocc: -a resource used to pay for goods, services and food, yes.

Bryn suddenly smiles.

Bryn: In that case, I'm gonna win this thing! Smell ya later, Fart Gallery!

Bryn turns to walk away.

Brocc: Hold it!

Bryn: Why should I?

Brocc: Because we're in the same faction.

Bryn stops and turns to face Brocc.

Bryn: Meaning?

Brocc: We can team up and win it...together. Double the prize, 50/50.

Bryn: You mean "SPLIT the prize, 50/50".

Brocc: Actually, I meant "double the prize, 100/100".

Bryn: Seriously? 50 grands' worth of currency?! Sign me up!

Brocc: Okay then! Let's win this thing...together!

Bryn and Brocc each take a step forward. Suddenly, a pack of wolves spawns around them.

Bryn: Where did THEY come from?!

Brocc: Oh, crud...

To be Continued...