Squidkid Saga Super-Shorts - A Fanfiction Spinoff Webseries by GeekyGamerZack

Scene 1: Inkopolis Streets: Morning

Octotroopers Alpha, Beta and Gamma walk through Inkopolis disguised as Inklings. Beta stops to pick up some green ink on the ground. He sniffs it, then dry-heaves so loud and booming that a flock of pigeons flies off of a nearby rooftop.

Beta: Id'z nod doo bar away. (sniffs)

Gamma: Good, then we can finally capture it and take it to Tako-sama.

Alpha: We better not fail, fellow Octarians.

Beta: Yeah, remember what happened to Delta?

***
We wipe to a view of DJ Octavio wearing a chef's hat next to a big cooking pot. He sprinkles some salt into it before throwing in an oversized sprig of wasabi.

DJ Octavio: That takes care of THAT problem!

An Octopus Amazon approaches DJ Octavio.

Amazon: Tako-sama, have you seen Octotrooper Delta?

DJ Octavio: That loser? Let's just say things have become a little stewed for him...heheheh...

Amazon: You don't mean-

DJ Octavio: Yup! I forbidded him from eating lunch today for failing to splat that Agent 4 dude! Serves 'im RIGHT for his failure!

Amazon: You are most wise, Tako-sama.

DJ Octavio: Yeah, I'm the King of Wiseness, ain't I?

The Octopus Amazon walks away.

DJ Octavio: And who authorised you to speak in not-Octarian?! You're not gonna get any of this seaweed stew surprise if you keep it up!

***
We wipe back to the present.

Gamma: We will not fail, my allies. Well, Alpha might screw up the plan...

The Octotroopers continue to traverse the street. They stop when they come to a graffiti-covered wall.

Beta: (whispers) Are they behind this wall?

Gamma: (whispers) I will check.

Gamma holds out her palm at Alpha and Beta, and they step back. Gamma silently approaches the wall and puts her back against it. She slowly peeks around, and a smile spreads across her face. She leaps into view.

Gamma: At last, you have been found. Tako-sama will be most pleased indeed.

We cut to a view of Squigley, who is about to take a bite out of a huge piece of green fruit.

Squigley: Uh...

***
Alpha, Beta and Gamma approach DJ Octavio, who is "hiding" behind a tiny shrub. Gamma's hands are folded behind her back.

DJ Octavio: Did you find it?

Alpha: We sure did, Boss! Kid didn't know WHAT was gonna happen!

DJ Octavio: Noice! And then what happened?

Gamma: I will let the results speak for themselves.

Gamma steps forward and swings her hands from behind her back, revealing the green fruit.

DJ Octavio: Sweet! Literally. This is gonna be SO freshing tasty!

Scene 2: Inkopolis Square: Morning

Squigley, Squilma and Squika sit at a table.

Squika: Huh.

Squilma: What is it, Squeirdo?

Squika: I thought for sure we'd be pestered by those two losers today.

Squigley: Inklinda and Inklein?

Squika: The very same! I cannot imagine anyone more intolerable than those two bottom-feeding suction farts!

Squigley: Are you freshing kidding? They're nothing compared to those bullies who stole my green inkfruit! And what's worse is it was during snacktime!

Scene 3: Cephalon HQ: Afternoon

DJ Octavio, the Octopus Amazons, Alpha, Beta and Gamma begin to eat the seaweed stew surprise, which is served in cast-iron bowls.

DJ Octavio: Nice work, Octotroopers! Snatching the dude's snack for me to use in this seaweed stew surprise? Now THAT'S wiseness! HAHAHAHAHA!

Scene 1: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

Squilma and Inklein walk into Ate & Switch.

Squilma: Ah...my first visit to Ate & Wee You since my trip to Camp Trigger-

Squilma pauses.

Squilma: Uh...Inklein?

Inklein: Yes, Wilma?

Squilma: You said you were gonna take me to Ate & Wee You because Inklinda has to work all day.

Inklein: I did...?

Squilma: Yes, you did. And based on what I see, either Ate & Wee You has turned into a different restaurant-slash-game store, or...

Inklein: Or what...?

Squilma: Or...THIS ISN'T ATE & WEE YOU!

Inklein looks around.

Inklein: Oh...this isn't Ate & Wee You...

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: Great, my coupon for one free game with a side order of tasty bits expires today, and I can't use it. And I was gonna give the game to Squiggles, since I'm not a-

Squilma notices someone staring at her.

Squilma: Uh...can I help you?

Inkling: Mmm-mmm-mmf-

Squilma: Swallow your food, THEN talk!

The Inkling swallows.

Squilma's thoughts: Okay, did EVERY Ngyes turn into an idiot in my absence...?

Inkling: Don'tcha know, dudette? Ate & Wee You was, like, rebranded to Ate & Switch. Same great food, same great service, fresh new look, dude...

Squilma: Hm...can I still redeem my coupon?

Inklein: Silly Wilma! You don't REDEEM coupons, you USE them! Silly Wilma!

Squilma: Well, can I still USE it, then?

Inklein shrugs while making an "I dunno" sound. Squilma frowns.

Squilma: I don't know WHAT Inklinda sees in you, Inklein...

Inklein: You smell not-smelly, Wilma...heheheh...

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: Well, time to see the manager.

***
Manager: I apologise, but I cannot honour the free game offer.

Squilma: What?! But...it's still valid!

Manager: The policy clearly states that the coupon must be redeemed at Ate & Wee You.

Squilma: Wow, splitting hairs much?

Inklein: What are "hares"...? Are they like rabbits? I often wonder what things would be like if Inklings were bunnies...

Manager: Since this establishment is no longer Ate & Wee You, your coupon is null and void.

Squilma: Great, the system works...

Manager: However...

Squilma: Yes?

Manager: I am willing to make a fair compromise that benefits everyone involved.

Squilma: What kind of compromise?

***
Squilma and Inklein leave Ate & Switch. Squilma appears shocked, whereas Inklein seems disappointed.

Squilma: A 5,000 Cash compensation EACH for the coupons being outdated early? Boy, did WE luck out? I was able to buy Squiggles a Swimtendo Switch, and THEN some!

Inklein: Aw, I wanted a free serve of tasty bits...

Squilma: But you can buy all the tasty bits you can eat with your hard-earned Cash, right?

Inklein: Oh yeah...let's eat!

Inklein runs back into Ate & Switch.

Squilma: What? But...we just ate.

Inklein's voice echoes out from within.

Inklein's voice: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE SHAKE MACHINE'S OUT OF ORDER?!

Scene 1: Squilma's Pad: Afternoon

Inklein sits on Squigley's bed, his legs crossed and his hands on his knees. His eyes are closed.

Inklein (chanting): Um...um...

Squigley walks into the room and sees Inklein.

Inklein: ...um...

Squigley: Uh...Inklein? What are you doing on my bed...?

Inklein: Wait...this is YOUR bed, Wiggles?

Squigley: Well, kinda...

Inklein: I thought this was Wilma's bed.

Squigley: Oh, she doesn't have a bed. She spends her nights at her supposed "octaiku class"...

Squigley's thoughts: ...which I'm starting to think is a cover for SOME kind of freshed-up Octarian junk...

Inklein: In answer to your question, I am meditating, Wiggles. I am trying to find the tiny kernel of my guts that DOESN'T like-like a special Woomy in my life.

Squigley: You mean Squilma?

Inklein: Who?

Squigley: Uh..."Wilma".

Inklein opens both eyes wide.

Inklein: Oh...um...yeah, I mean Wilma.

Squigley: Why don't you want to like-like her?

Inklein's left eye squints.

Inklein: Because Lindie said she'd take my favourite toy if I didn't start to like-like her instead.

Squigley: WOW, Inklinda can be so freshing ambitious in her goals...poor Squilma.

Inklein: Hey, yeah! I'm gonna go and confess my love to Wilma right-

A loud clicking sound is heard. Inklein's expression turns blank.

Inklein: WHAT IS YOUR COMMAND, MASTER?

Inklinda walks into the room.

Inklinda: Worked like, like, a charm or whatever.

Squigley: What the...? Inklinda, how did you get in here?!

Inklinda: Well, I figured Inkle-butt was in such a deep state of meditation that I could hypnotise him or whatever. I must admit, it worked WAY better than I expected!

Squigley: Uh...that didn't a-answer my-

Inklein: I HAVEN'T GOT ALL DAY, MASTER. WHADDAYA WANT?

Inklinda: Wow, SOMEONE'S rude when hypnotised or whatever!

Squigley's thoughts: And someone ELSE is rude when they're NOT...or whatever...

Inklinda: Inklein, I command you to cook me some fried squid soba.

Inklein: HEH. HEH. HEH. YOU SAID "SQUID", AND YOU ARE AN INKLING, WHICH MAKES YOU A SQUID. THE IRONY IS DELICIOUS, MASTER.

Inklinda: Are you gonna cook me lunch or not?!

Inklein: YES, MASTER.

Inklein's body levitates, and he floats through the door. Squigley appears surprised.

Squigley: Did he just-

Inklinda: -belittle his master? Yep, he sure did or whatever!

Squigley: No, I mean-

Inklinda: Oh, right, the floaty thing. Well, Inklein has powers or something, but to be honest, I don't know what he can do. And...I'd rather not know, you know?

Squigley: No.

Inklinda: Oh.

Inklinda pauses.

Inklinda: I better check on him.

Inklinda leaves the room. After a moment, she calls out.

Inklinda's voice: INKLEIN! What are you, like, doing?!

Inklein's voice: MAKING YOU FRIED SQUID NOODLES, MASTER.

Inklinda's voice: No, those aren't MY ingredients, they're SQUILMA'S! You were, like, SUPPOSED to cook lunch in our dorm using our OWN produce!

Inklein's voice: BUT THIS SQUID IS BETTER QUALITY THAN THE STUFF YOU BOUGHT FROM THAT SHADY VENDOR BY THE PIER. I DON'T WANT TO GIVE YOU FOOD POISONING, MASTER.

Inklinda's voice: Aw, Inkle-butt, you DO care or whatever! Well, let's eat before the Lady of the Manor gets back from-

Squilma's voice: Squiggles, I'm HO-OME! And I brought you a tasty Shwaffle from The Crust Bucket...though it smells like you're already preparing lunch. Funny, I didn't know you could cook...

We hear loud footsteps.

Squilma's voice: Hi, Squi- Huh?! What the fresh are YOU TWO doing here?!

Inklinda's voice: It was all Inklein's idea!

Squilma's voice: So he decided, on his own free whale, to raid my fridge and COOK MY INGREDIENTS?!

Inklinda's voice: Like, yeah! We wanted to surprise you with INKLEIN, NOW!

Squilma's voice: Nice try, but no amount of obvious hypnosis is gonna stop him from throwing hot noodles at my face. He like-likes me too much.

Inklinda's voice: But...but...like...

Squilma's voice: So you may as well leave. But just to show there's no hard feelings, you may eat the lunch you prepared.

Inklinda's voice: R-Really or whatever?

Squilma's voice: Yes. I WAS gonna eat it for lunch myself, but you enjoy it. A growing squidling needs protein, right? Okay, time for an inkshower.

We hear loud bootsteps.

Inklinda's voice: Well, you heard the Woomy. Let's eat!

Inklein's voice: NO, THIS IS WILMA'S FOOD. GET YOUR OWN. PERHAPS YOU'D PREFER SOME FRESH INKFRUIT, MASTER?

Inklinda's voice: I'll give YOU inkfruit, Inkle-butt! *razz*

Inklein's voice: SILLY MASTER. THAT WAS NOT FRUIT. IT WAS YOUR TONGUE PROTRUDING AND MAKING A NOISE. SILLY MASTER.

Inklinda's voice: Stupid "Guide to Hypnosis"! Might as well, like, flush it down the proverbial toilet or whatever...

Inklein's voice: RIGHT AWAY, MASTER.

Inklinda's voice: Wait, Inklein! Like, STOP!

We hear footsteps.

Squilma's voice: Inklein! What the fresh are you doing in here?! And what are you shoving into the toilet? Are...ARE THOSE THE NOODLES YOU JUST COOKED?!

A flushing sound is heard. We cut back to a view of Squigley.

Squigley: Uh...what the fresh just happened...?

"That's Our Squika! is filmed in front of a live studio audience."

Inklein sits in an armchair reading a newspaper. The front door opens and Squilma walks in.

Squilma: Hello! I'm home! (applause)

Inklein smiles, stands and walks up to Squilma, wrapping his arms around her as she embraces him.

Inklein: Hi, Wilma.

Inklein and Squilma nose-kiss, then let go of one another.

Inklein: So how was your octaiku class?

Squilma: Oh, don't get me started...first the ShelDrone carrying my weapon missed me and fell into the ocean, then some tentacled FREAK spilled milk on my Hero Suit!

Inklein: Did you cry over it? (laughter)

Squilma: And to top it all off, a typo in my contract ended up with my employer, who shall remain nameless...

Squilma's thoughts: Stoopid New Squidbeak Splatoon... (laughs)

Squilma: ...reducing my paycheque by $5.00!

Inklein: Well, well, that's quite the..."clerical" error!

Squilma's thoughts: But...that pun makes no sense in this context...?

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: Don't give up your day job, Inkle-butt... (laughter)

Inklein: Silly Wilma! I work NIGHT shift, which happens at NIGHT! Silly Wilma! (laughs and cheers)

Squilma: Uh-huh...and how was your day?

Inklein: Awesome.

Squilma: Well, at least ONE of us had a good day. (light chuckle)

Inklein: Except that the kids were sent home from school early due to some students having lice.

Squilma: But...Inklings don't even have HAIR! How can the twins have LICE?! (laughs)

Inklein: It's fine, though. The principal says the rats'll take care of the lice. (laughter)

Squilma: But what about the rats?

Inklein: Simple. Frogs. (laughter)

Squilma: But what about the frogs?

Inklein: I don't know! Do I LOOK like a botanist? (laughter)

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: I don't know WHY I let you talk me into letting the kids go to that freshed-up school... (laughter)

Seth runs downstairs.

Seth: Mummy! Daddy! Squika buried my action figure in the backyard!

Inklein: That's our Squika! (laughter and applause)

Squika super jumps downstairs.

Squika: I told you! I didn't do it! The Inklinda did!

Inklein: Aw, and why would Lindie bury Seth's toy in the yard?

Inklinda runs into the room on all fours.

Inklinda: Did someone, like, mention my name or whatever?

Squilma: NO! BAD LINDIE! BAD! We do NOT bark inside! Now go to the backyard!

Inklinda: You STILL don't know I can speak Inkling?! (laughter)

Squilma: NO! That's a BAD Lindie! Outside!

Inklinda mumbles and slowly walks away.

Inklinda: I'll, like, splat you one of these-

Squilma: BAD Lindie!

Inklinda: ...or whatever.

Squilma: I KNEW we should've had her cast-

The doorbell rings.

Squilma: Every time... (laughter)

Squilma smiles at Inklein.

Squilma: Get the door, please, sweetie.

Inklein: Sure thing, Wilma!

Inklein walks up to the front door and opens it. Squigley is standing there.

Squigley: Hello. (applause)

Squilma: Whatever you're selling, we don't want any. (laughter)

Squigley: Actually, I'm here to see your..."son".

Squika: Me?

Seth (sarcastic): No, the potted plant that LOOKS like you. (laughter)

We see a view of a purple plant resembling Squika's head...body...thing.

Squika: Hey, now that you mention it... (laughter)

Squigley enters the room.

Inklein: Would you like to come in, complete stranger? (laughter)

Squigley: Squika, you need to wake up.

Squika: But I AM awake!

Squigley: No. You're passed out in the middle of a busy street.

Squilma: Squika! Have you been on an ink donation bender?!

Squika: NO! Of course not!

Inklein: That's our Squika! (laughter)

Squika: I can't give ink because-

***
Squika awakens and sits up. He is in the middle of Inkopolis Square.

Squika: Wow, that's the last time I eat seven Shwaffles in one sitting! What a weird dream...

Squika looks ahead. Pearl and Marina are singing Color Pulse on-stage.

Squika: Wait a minute...a Splatfest has begun...? HOW LONG WAS I UNCONSCIOUS?!

Random Passerby: That's our Squika!

Everyone in the street laughs.

Act 1 - Inklinda Buys a New Inkbrush

Inklinda and Inklein walk into Ammo Knights. Weapons of every category are clearly visible on every shelf.

Sheldon: Ah, Team Ink & Swim! Welcome!

Inklinda: Hey, Shelly. I, like, need a new Inkbrush. As you can see, my old one-

Inklinda holds up her Inkbrush, revealing that the bristles have been trimmed.

Inklinda: -has seen better days or whatever.

Sheldon speaks in a concerned tone.

Sheldon: Oh my, that is no good. That looks like...have the bristles been hacked off?

Inklinda opens her mouth to speak.

Inklein: Yeah, by Squienda!

Inklinda squints her left eye at Inklein.

Inklinda: Thank you, Inklein! I was, like, GETTING to that! Ugh.

Inklein: Oh, right.

Inklinda: And it's "Squien-NA"!

Inklein: Silly Lindie! It isn't Squien-NA, it's Squi-EN-na! Silly Lindie!

Sheldon: Oh dear. Was anyone hurt?

Inklinda: No, but Inklein's asking for it.

Inklein: I am? Wait...for what am I asking for?

Inklinda: Nothing, Inkle-butt. I was just being sarcastic or whatever.

Inklein: Uh-huh...uh-huh...uh-huh...

Inklinda: You, like, have no idea what sarcasm is, do you?

Inklein: Not as such, no.

Inklinda: Thought so.

Sheldon: I am sympathetic to your problem, my dear, but how can I help?

Inklinda: Um...I need a new Inkbrush...?

Sheldon: Yes? And?

Inklinda: And...you're, like, LITERALLY the only armoury in Inkopolis, right?

Sheldon: Oh, it seems my illusion is still in effect.

Inklinda: Illusion...?

Inklinda looks around and sees that she is actually standing inside Headspace. She looks at Sheldon, who is actually Flow and Craymond.

Inklinda: F-Flow...?!

Craymond: AND CRAYMOND!

Inklinda: But...like...then I'm in-

Inklein: Headcase!

Inklinda: What?! Inklein, you knew?!

Inklein: Of course! Illusions can't trick Eye-Pads!

Flow: I warned you about your Inkbrush, did I not? In any case, you'll want to go next door.

Craymond: LATER, DUMDUM!

Flow points to her left. Inklinda sheepishly backs out of the shop, followed by Inklein.

***
Inklinda looks at Inklein.

Inklinda: Tell no-one. Got it?

Inklein: Yep.

Inklinda: Good.

Inklinda and Inklein enter Ammo Knights.

***
Act 2 - Inklinda Buys a New Inkbrush 2

Inklinda and Inklein approach Sheldon.

Inklein: Hey there, Shelmet!

Sheldon: Oh, Team Ink & Swim! What kind of weapon are you in the market for?

Inklinda: Look, Inklein! It's Sheldon! I hope he isn't an illusion or whatever! (laughs)

Sheldon stares at Inklinda, a blank expression on his face.

Inklinda: It...was, like, just a little joke, Shelly.

Sheldon: I don't get it.

Inklinda's thoughts: How can one horseshoe crab with such a high I.Q. not understand basic humour or whatever...?

Inklein: Oh, I get it! SHEL-don! Hahaha, good one, Lindie!

Sheldon: Yes...now, how can I help you today?

Inklinda: Well, I need a new Inkbrush. As you can see, mine has seen better days.

Sheldon looks at Inklinda's Inkbrush and panics.

Sheldon: WHAT?! How did this happen?!

Inklinda: Well, Squiggles has developed over-splatting or something which, like, may or may not have been partly my fault.

Inklein: But it WAS your fault, Lindie!

Inklinda: Inklein-

Inklein: You were caught out for it!

Inklinda: Inklein-

Inklein: And that's why Squienda trimmed your Inkbrush!

Inklinda: Ink-

Inklein: And that's what happened!

Inklinda: You can be SO freshing honest, Inkle-butt. You're lucky that that's one of the main reasons I'm attracted to you or whatever.

Sheldon: In that case, I have JUST the thing for you, Inklinda. Behold!

Sheldon whips out an Inkbrush identical to Inklinda's old one seemingly from nowhere.

Inklinda: Whoa, it's amazing! It's...uh...like...hm...

Sheldon: Impressive, yes?

Inklinda: It's...identical to my old one.

Sheldon: Functionally, yes.

Inklinda: And aesthetically. How can I possibly be impressed?

Sheldon: Well, the Inkbrush Nouveau is the latest version of the-

Inklinda's thoughts: Oh no...it's started...too late to retreat or whatever...

Sheldon: -the same great design you know and love, but with DIFFERENT-

Inklinda's thoughts: I can only imagine the torture wracking Inklein's Psyphalopodic mind...

Inklein's thoughts: You're a KID! You're a SQUID! You're a CAT! You're a JELLYFISH! You're an OCTOPUS now...heheheh...octopuses-es sound like kitty-pusses-es...

***
Two hours later...

Inklinda's eyes are wide and bloodshot. Sheldon holds the Inkbrush in front of her.

Sheldon: Uh...Inklinda? Your Inkbrush Nouveau?

Inklinda reaches out her hand and gingerly takes the Inkbrush from Sheldon.

Inklinda: Like...like...tha-

Sheldon: You are most welcome. Now, off you go!

Inklinda: ...or whatever.

Inklinda and Inklein leave the shop.

***
Inklinda and Inklein stand near Headspace. Inklinda smiles.

Inklinda: A new Inkbrush!

Inklein: Silly Lindie! It's pronounced "Inkbrush noo-VOH!" Silly Lindie!

Inklinda: I'm so happy! NOTHING can spoil my mood right-

We hear a splat sound. Inklinda is pelted with green ink.

Squigley's voice: Not again! I just BOUGHT that Paisley Bandana!

Inklinda: Well, I guess I brought that on myself...like, ew or whatever...

***
We cut inside Ammo Knights. Sheldon clutches Inklinda's old Inkbrush.

Sheldon: My poor baby...don't worry, Daddy's got you. Daddy's here for you.

Sheldon hugs the Inkbrush tightly.

Sheldon: Daddy's gonna re-bristle you and give you to Callie. SHE'LL take care of you...

Scene 1: Marooner's Bay: Pre-Dawn

Octanner, Squika, Squarka and the random extra are splatting Chums during a Salmon Run shift.

Octanner: I can't believe you still do this for a living, Squika. I mean, after what happened the first time...

Squika: Oh, squit-squat, Octanner! I actually find it quite relaxing.

Octanner: Um...seriously?

Squarka: Strange as Squika is, I see his point. But this is only your first shift, so you're not quite used to it yet.

Octanner: Well, TECHNICALLY it's my second.

Squarka: Oh, really?

Octanner: Yeah. I'm...well, I USED to be Squigley.

Squarka: What...?

Squika: It's true! He really was!

Squarka: But...I saw you just before we started our shift.

Octanner: Oh, that would've been Squigley 2. He's an exact duplicate of my former Inkling self generated from residual ink after DJ Octavio turned me into an Octoling using the power of the Tidemoon.

Squarka: Uh...right...sounds fishy.

Extra: I believe his story.

Squika: Darn it, random extra! How many times...?!

Extra: Bite me.

Squika: I don't even have a MOUTH! Um...I think. How can I possibly BITE you?!

Extra: I think the bigger question is how can YOU speak, when I clearly HAVE a mouth?

Squika: Why, you little-

A Flyfish suddenly appears in the sky.

Octanner: W-W-What...i-is...th-that?!

Squika: Looks like a Steel Eel.

Extra: What...how can...? Squika, does that LOOK like a Steel Eel?!

Squika: How the freshness should I know?! I don't know ALL the Salmonids!

Extra: One wonders how you retain this job.

Squika: Well, ONE wonders how YOUR FACE! *razz*

The random extra rolls her eyes.

Squarka: Um...while you two were bickering...

Squika: Yes?

Squarka: ...Octanner got splatted.

Squika: Oh, um...hm...nice going, random extra.

Extra: If you must know, my NAME is Squart-.

Squika bursts out laughing.

Squika: Squart?! Sounds like "Fart"! HAHAHAHAHA!

Extra: I haven't finished, but now you don't get to hear the rest.

Octanner: Hey! Stop arguing already!

Squika: What...? Octanner, you're not-splatted!

Octanner: No, I'm not. SQUARKA had to revive me. And now we're surrounded by a horde of Chums. Freshing fantastic...

"Squart": It's fine! I think I've devised a plan to get us through this shift safely without Squika messing up-

Squika: HEY!

"Squart": -anything else.

***
Sometime later...

Squika: Whoa, we made it out in one piece.

"Squart": Did I not do good?

Squika: Yeah, you did good...Squartney (rhymes with "Courtney").

Octanner: Aren't we going to recap how we made it through?

Squika: What's the point?

Squartney: Yeah, I mean, we know how we did it, don't we?

Squarka: Yeah.

Octanner: Unless there's someone watching us right now who wants to know...?

The squad slowly turns to face the viewers. The view zooms out to reveal the party being spied upon by DJ Octavio.

DJ Octavio: Wow! This new season of Salmon Run is awesome! I hope that Fartney dude wins this season. I dunno why, but I like the cut of her jib...

The view returns to the squad, who super jump back to the boat as the sun starts to rise.

Octanner: Wait a minute...I hadn't harvested any golden eggs for the entire shift!

Scene 1: Inkopolis Plaza: Evening

Ally-Squinn walks onto a stage in Inkopolis Square carrying a large, open book.

Ally: Woomies and Veemos, Ngyeses and...uh...Oom...uh...Wey...uh...Ngwe-

Ally-Squinn's thoughts: I STILL don't know what I'm supposed to call them...

Ally: -uh...and Octoling Boys, the Rainbow Cuttles welcome you to something very different than what we usually present.

Random Audience Member: Do Acid Hues!

Ally: It's a stage play, like the ones of old!

Random Audience Member: Do Frantic Aspic!

Ally: It takes place in a faraway land known as Inkrule, and features a princess, an evil sorcerer and a grand, heroic knight! This tale is called...

Ally's eyes bulge as she looks at her teleprompter.

Ally: "The Legend of Zelinda"...? Squika, what the fresh?!

Random Audience Member: Do Riptide Rupture!

Squika: Just a last-minute cast change!

Ally: But-

Squika: Look, Octobel can't do it for obvious reasons, right?

Ally: Yeah...?

Random Audience Member: Do Without a Dop Doubt!

Squika: Well, the Lady Squatson was the only Woomy who agreed to do it!

Ally: But...but-

Squika: So it was either her or a Deep-Fried Shwaffle!

Ally: I'd rather the SHWAFFLE play the lead!

Random Audience Member: Do You're a Kid, You're a Squid!

Squika: Too late! The Shwaffle has mysteriously disappeared into my head...body...thing.

Ally: For the LOVE of freshness...okay, let's start this stupid thing already.

***
Ally steps off-stage. The curtains open to reveal a very pink castle chamber filled with love hearts, plush unicorns and several frittatas scattered about.

Ally's voice: We begin our tale in the bedchamber of the fair Princess-

Inklinda's voice: That's FAIRY princess, Ally-Squinn!

Ally's voice: Wait...what...? Oh, I see Inklein has made a few changes with Seth-Inkley's script.

Seth's voice: That's okay, I think the changes are AMAZING!

Ally's voice: Ugh...the "FAIRY Princess" Zelinda.

Inklinda super jumps into the room, before retaking kid form. She is wearing a fluffy pink dress and hat that are by no means true to her character.

"Inklinda": I am the fair and helpless fairy princess Zelinda, and I do fair and helpless things like brush fluffy unicorn toys and eat tasty crab frittatas.

Ally's voice: WHAT?! You would NEVER do those things! Well...except the frittata part.

Zelinda: That's, like, right, but Princess Zelinda would! So shut up and let me have my moment or whatever.

Ally's voice: Do...you think this is what my childhood was like, Inklinda Squatson?

Zelinda: Hey! Who's telling the story here?!

Ally's voice: Well, TECHNICALLY me, if you must ask. But I'll let you "have your moment or whatever".

Zelinda: Like, thank you.

Ally's voice: Now, while Princess Zelinda was stuffing herself with delicious crabby frittatas-

Zelinda's thoughts: Why did I let Inklein edit the script...?

Zelinda picks up a frittata and shoves the entire thing into her mouth.

Ally's voice: -the evil wizard Sethnonborf appeared to kidnap her!

Seth squid jumps onto the stage, before retaking kid form. He is dressed in dark robes.

"Seth": Ha. Ha. Ha. I am the sorcerer Sethnonborf the Incompetent...or is that Sethnonborf the Incontinent...? Eh, just call me Seth. Ha. Ha. Ha.

Ally's voice: Okay, that's one script change too far!

Seth: It's okay, Ally-Squinn.

Ally's voice: Okay, but don't say I didn't warn you...

Zelinda: Oh no! Whatever shall this helpless fairy princess do?!

Ally's voice: Just then, the mighty hero Linklein appeared after hearing the princess' anguished cry for help!

Inklein casually walks onto the stage, waving and grinning at the audience. He is dressed in green hero's garb and is brandishing a pocky stick.

"Inklein": Hi, Lindie and Purple Squika!

Zelinda: Gasp! Who are you, mighty and attractive hero?

Ally's voice: "Mighty and attractive hero"? You must be joking!

Zelinda: Hey! This is, like, MY story, Ally, so do kindly shut your Squerther-hole or whatever, won't you? Anyway...who are you, mighty and attractive hero?

"Inklein": Uh...Inklein...?

Zelinda: No, sweetie, you're SUPPOSED to say "Linklein", right?

"Inklein": Uh...oh, right. "Linklein". Hahaha, that's a good one, Lindie!

Zelinda: Gasp! It is the mighty and heroic Linklein, the Hero of Tide, here to save I, the fairy princess Zelinda from the clutches of the baddy-two-boots Sethnonborf!

Linklein: Uh...I am...?

Sethnonborf: You cannot stop me, Linklein, for I possess the Fried Trout of Flour!

Linklein: Uh...

Zelinda: Well, somewhat coincidentally, HE possess the Fried Bass of Curry AND the Mystical Pocky of Heroism!

Sethnonborf: Gasp!

Zelinda: If it's any consolation, I possess the Fried Halibut of Whipped Cream and the Arowana of Light Mayo.

Ally's voice: Oh, come on! No-one puts whipped cream on fried halibut!

Zelinda voice: HEY! Just because, like, CERTAIN Inklings such as Inklein-

Squika: And moi!

Zelinda: -put whipped cream on fried fish, that DOESN'T give you the right to criticise, Ally!

Ally races onto the stage. She and Inklinda glare at each other.

Ally: This rewrite is terrible, Inklinda!

Zelinda: Yeah...well...you're so terrible that I'm surprised no-one's thrown the book at you or whatever!

After a pause, Zelinda grabs the book from Ally's arms and pathetically throws it five inches in front of her.

Zelinda: NNGH!

Ally sighs.

Ally: Oh, what a magnificent throw, "mighty and heroic Zelinda"!

Zelinda: THAT'S IT! I'm, like, leaving!

Zelinda stomps off-stage in anger.

Ally: WAIT!

Zelinda stops and turns to look at Ally.

Ally: You wanna know what it was like for me growing up?

Zelinda: Seriously? You're, like, Ally-Squinn Maki! You lived the life of a literal PRINCESS!

Ally: Actually, that's wildly inaccurate. When my brother and I were young, our father...uh..
and then our mother left on an expedition to who-knows-where. After my brother moved out to seek a fresh start in-

Random Audience Member: Do Fresh Start!

Ally: -INKOPOLIS, I couldn't handle being alone any more. THAT'S why I moved here, Inklinda Squatson, so that I could LIVE MY LIFE for once. You were lucky, you got to HAVE a life growing up, which makes you comparatively richer by comparison.

Zelinda: Ally, I...I had no idea...

Ally starts to sob.

Ally: I have to go. This play's finished. Everyone, thank you for-

Random Audience Member: Do Tide Goes Out!

Squika: Show's over, Steve! Go home!

Random Audience Member: Oh, okay then!

Everyone leaves the stage except Zelinda, whose left eye squints.

Zelinda: Wow...I, like, have it pretty easy or whatever...I think I'm gonna head home and thank Daddy properly.

Zelinda makes a slight smile, before leaving the stage.

Scene 1: Wahoo World: Afternoon

Seth-Inkley walks up to a door, where Squika is "standing".

Seth: Oh, is the toilet occupied?

Squika: Yep! Join the queue, Big Bro!

Seth: Okie-doke.

Seth stands behind Squika.

Seth: You DO know that YOU'RE the older brother, right?

Squika: That may be true, but you're taller than I am, so TECHNICALLY that makes you bigger by comparison.

Seth: Well, that's because you always stay in squid form.

Squika: Fair point. I don't HAVE to stay in squid form - the effects of Doni's contraption wore off months ago, thank the seas of freshness - but I find that-

A flushing sound is heard.

Squika: -YAY! The toilet's free!

The door opens, and Inklein steps out.

Inklein: She's all yours, Squeaky and Purple Squika! Man, that superspicy curry was SO good...mmm...

Inklein walks away.

Squika: Wait...what was he saying about curry?

Seth sniffs the air, then quickly covers his hand with his mouth while he gags.

Seth: I think I'm going to be sick...

Squika: What? You've never used a public toilet before?

Seth: I haven't used one after Inklein, if that's what you mean. NOT amazing.

Squika: Well, I have plenty of times, and I assure you that Inklein ALWAYS leaves a lemony scent after using the toilet, no matter what he's eaten.

Squika slides in and closes the door.

Squika's voice: Now to-

Squika pauses.

Squika's voice: By the waters of Mahi-Mahi Resort, what is that STENCH?! Ugh...it's like the leavings of a Salmonid after eating a huge bucket of DJ Octavio's ink! And...SWEET SQUID RINGS WITH HOT FUDGE ON TOP! WHY DID HE LEAVE INK EVERYWHERE?!

Octanner walks up to Seth.

Octanner: Is someone in the toilet?

Squika opens the door, his eyes wide open and bloodshot.

Squika: Don't do it, Octanner...it's not...worth it...

Squika slides away.

Octanner: Oh, are you waiting too, Seth?

Seth: I'll be ready soon...

Seth's thoughts: ...to lose my lunch...ooh, my stomach...

Octanner: Okay then.

Octanner walks in and closes the door.

***
Many moments later...

Squika slides up to Seth.

Squika: You're STILL waiting?! But I want to ride the bumper cars!

Seth: Oh, Octanner's in there.

Squika: WHAT?! But...he's probably unconscious in there! It's filled with an odour stronger than ether, I'm telling you!

A flushing sound is heard.

Squika: And now he's pressed the flusher in his sleep!

The door opens, and Octanner steps out.

Octanner: All finished.

Squika: You were hours, Octanner! Are you okay?!

Seth: Actually, he was only five minutes.

Squika: Oh. Hey, what's that smell?

Octanner: Oh, I used my powers.

Squika: Psy-pods can clean toilets?

Octanner: No, but Octechies can.

Squika: But...you're not a-

Seth: Seriously, Squika? Obviously Octanner's powers changed after he was transformed into an Octoling.

Octanner: Yep! One touch, a little zap, and now that toilet's cleaner and fresher than any cleaning staff can achieve!

Squika: Good, cause I'm desperate to-

Squilma runs up to the door.

Squilma: Sorryladiesisfullhadcurryforlunchberightout!

Squika: Squilma! Seriously?

Squilma runs in and closes the door.

Squika: I can't take it anymore! I'm going to-

Seth suddenly inks the floor, and blushes.

Seth: Oh...heheh, my bad.

Squika: HAHAHAHAHA! Looks like it's a FAMILY trait! HAHAHA! *inks* ...oh boy.

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Squilma, Inklinda and Inklein are sitting at a table in Inkopolis Square.

Squilma: I gotta admit, this afternoon's pretty good, considering my present company.

Inklinda: Like...thanks, I think...?

Squilma: The only thing that could possibly spoil it is-

Squika's voice: HELLO, SQUILMA AND FRIENDS!

Squilma facepalms.

Squilma: -the Squeirdo.

Inklein: Hey, who's that funny-looking squid with Squeaky?

Squilma: Inklein, We've been over this. Wiggles isn't a SQUID anymore.

Inklinda: That's, like, SO not Octanner.

Squilma: Don't be ridiculous! Who else would hang out with Squika but-

Squilma looks at Squika. Sliding alongside him is a magenta-coloured octopus form Octoling.

Squilma: Wait...who the fresh is that...?

Squika and the Octoling reach the table.

Squika: Yo, wassup, friendos?

Inklinda: Never use any combination of those words again.

Squika: Absotightly, Woomslice!

Inklinda: Or those, Squeirdo.

Inklein: Hi, Squeaky! Who's your new friend?

Squika: Ah, that's right, I haven't introduced you yet! Everyone, this is my girlfriend.

Squilma's eyes bulge as Inklinda's jaw drops.

Squilma: G-G-GIRLFRIEND?!

Inklinda: How can YOU have a BAE or whatever?!

Squika: Her name's Octako.

Octako: Nice it is to meet you.

Squilma: Likewise.

Inklein: Heheheh...she has a funny accent.

Octako: Apologies. I...know not the Inklish language well.

Inklein: AND she's in squid form, just like Squeaky!

Squika: Actually, she's in octopus form, Inklein.

Inklein: What's an "octopus"...?

Inklinda: So she's, like, your solemate or whatever?

Squika: Indeed!

Octako: I do like-like my little Squika-chan.

Inklinda: Right...

Inklinda's thoughts: She's TOTES an Octarian spy...no WAY a girl would willingly become Squika's actual GF...I have a plan to see her true form...heheheh...

Inklinda: I'll be right back.

Squilma: Sure thing, Inklinda.

Inklinda zips away. Squilma smiles at Octako.

Squilma: So tell us, Octako! How did you and Squeir...I mean..."Squika" meet?

Squika: Oh, she locked me in a cage and fed me fish eggs and mushrooms.

Squilma: Aw, that's so sweet...teehee!

Inklinda zips back holding a tray with five paper cups.

Inklinda: Who wants juice?

Squika: You read my mind!

Inklinda: How many times must I tell you, Squidiot?! I'M not the Psy-pod, INKLEIN is!

Inklein: But what about Wilma?

Inklinda: Well-

Inklein: And Wiggles Jr.?

Inklinda: Uh-

Inklein: And Scrubberella?

Inklinda: YES, Inklein! Squilma, Squigley 2 and Ally-Squinn are ALSO Psy-pods! I MEANT that between all the members of our team, YOU'RE the Psy-pod!

Inklein: But what about Squ-

Inklinda: Quickly changing the subject before Inkle-butt spoils the plot of the main series...here's your chilled berry chilli pepper chill, Squilma.

Inklinda hands one of the cups to Squilma.

Squilma: Thanks. I could use a cool beverage.

Squika: Cool?! That thing is full of chilli!

Inklinda grins at Squika.

Inklinda: I got you a grape minds blend, Squika. Think fast or whatever!

Inklinda tosses a cup to Squika, but he misses and becomes splashed with juice identical in colour to himself.

Squika: Ooh, yummy!

Inklinda: Inklein, here's your...uh...cup of sweet whipped cream.

Inklinda hands a particularly large cup to Inklein.

Inklein: YAAAAAAAAY! My favourite!

Inklein runs away with delight.

Squilma's thoughts: I don't know how he can drink that by itself...

Inklinda: And for Octako, one eight-fruits juicy crush.

Inklinda hands a cup to Octako.

Octako: Thank you much, Inklinda-san. Most appreciated.

Octako seems to smile sweetly.

Inklinda: So...are you going to drink it or whatever?

Octako: Hai, in one minute.

Inklinda: Oh. I'll, like, come back soon, then. I'm sure Octanner's eagerly awaiting his watermelon-pineapple juice.

Octako: Certainly.

Inklinda begins walking away.

Inklinda's thoughts: I'll, like, quickly give Octanner his drink, then race back to Octako...THEN I'll catch her red-tentacled or whatever...

***
One minute later...

Inklinda zips back to the table. Octako is holding her cup.

Inklinda: I'm back!

Squilma: Oh, hi, Inklinda.

Inklinda looks at Octako's cup, then at her still-in-octopus form face.

Inklinda: You haven't drunk your juice or whatever?

Octako: Actually, I have.

Inklinda: Like, how much?

Octako: All of it.

Inklinda: Like, WHAT?!

Octako: It was really delicious. Thank you again!

Inklinda: You finished an entire large juice in under a minute while in octo form? How?!

Octako: I was thirsty. Your juice gift was well-timed, Inklinda-san.

Squika: She's not wrong. I was in need of a cooldown myself!

Inklinda: But...but...like-

Squilma: What the fresh is your problem, Inklinda?

Inklinda: How...well...I, uh-

Inklein's voice: Heheheh...Lindie must be part-mystery solver or something.

Inklein walks up to the group. He is holding his cup, and smears of cream surround his mouth.

Squilma: Nice one, Cap'n Cuttlefish!

Inklein: Silly Wilma! It's ME, Inklein! Silly Wilma!

Inklein laughs. Inklinda rolls her eyes.

Inklinda's thoughts: Well, THAT plan didn't work...there must be a way to prove she's an Octarian...

Inklinda thinks hard.

Squilma: Careful there, Inklinda, or you'll pull your brain muscle!

Inklein: Heheheh..."muscle"...that's a good one, Wilma!

Scene 1: Squika and Podd's Pad: Afternoon

Podd sits on her bed, her tentacles crossed and her head...body...thing resting atop a cushion. Podd's eyes are closed, and she is not moving.

Podd's thoughts: Okay, clear your mind, Donburi...focus on quelling your inner-

Squika's voice: HEY DONI! GUESS WHAT'S HAPPENING IN INKOPOLIS SQU-

Squika rushes into Podd's bedroom, and is stopped in his tracks when he sees her.

Squika: Uh...Doni?

Podd remains motionless, but she still acknowledges Squika.

Podd: Yes, Squika?

Squika: What...hm...what are you doing?

Podd: I am meditating. Well, in a manner of speaking.

Squika: MEDITATING?! What, did you suddenly become an Eye-pad or something?

Podd: "Psy-pod", Squika. I believe you mean "Psy-pod".

Squika: Yeah, one of those.

Podd: I'm afraid not.

Squika: You didn't? Then why bother meditating?

Podd: I am trying to find a way to stop my inner-Kraken from...well-

Squika: Yes, I saw the results of your most recent "going Kraken" near Crusty Sean's truck.

Podd: Well, Inklinda was being insulting. I transformed into a Kraken after trying to bear her insults.

Squika: Oh, Inklinda brings out the Kraken in ALL of us. Just ask Squilma!

Podd: Another time, perhaps.

Squika: Indeed...well, perhaps I can help?

Podd: In what manner?

Squika: Maybe if I form a metaphysical connection with you and use my OWN powers, it'll help speed up the process!

Podd opens her left eye.

Podd: You possess powers?

Squika: Well, I don't intend to toot my own horn, but possessing TWO music strands gives me a little bit of..."Muse-o-kinesis"!

Cricket sounds are heard. Podd closes his eye.

Podd: Very well.

Squika: Noice! Let's do this!

Squika frowns as he focusses on Podd.


A portal surrounded by a frame of orange light opens up at the foot of Podd's bed. Through it we can see Inkopolis Square being ravaged by an orange Inkling in Kraken form. The Kraken sees Squika and roars loudly, causing him to panic and break his connection with Podd. The portal closes and disappears.

Squika: That was a close one...

Podd opens her eyes.

Podd: That was weird.

Squika: What was weird?

Podd: I envisioned participating in Turf War within Inkopolis Square, at which point I witnessed you and felt an overwhelming urge to-

Squika: What?! That's ridiculous! Eheheheheh...

A bead of sweat rolls down Squika's forehead.

Podd: Hm...in any case, it seems to have calmed my inner-Kraken. Your power, though I am still doubtful of its existence, seems to be the trick to maintaining a hold on my inner-Kraken.

The camera pans behind Squika to reveal Squilma standing in the hallway. She appears furious, and is holding a pair of Dualies covered in bubblegum.

Squilma: SQUIKA! How many times have I told you not to blow bubbles in my apartment?!

Squika suddenly freezes.

Squika: Oops.

Squilma: Oops?! I'LL OOPS YOU! YAAAAAAAAH!

Squilma runs towards Squika.

Squika: AAH!

Squika leaps off the bed and races out the door, followed by Squilma.

Squilma: Come back and fight, coward!

Squika: But I'm a pacifist!

Podd sits there, staring at her doorway.

Podd: Squika...I must...

Podd's eyes begin to glow. Her voice is distorted.

Podd: ...protect him.

Scene 1: Octanner and Octabby's Pad: Morning

Octabby stands in her kitchen. On the counter in front of her is a large mixing bowl, some buckwheat noodles, two Power Eggs, assorted fresh seafood and vegetables, a jug of water and a small bottle labelled "koi sauce".

Octabby: Okay, time to prepare some yummy seafood yakisoba for my new friends and I.

Octabby puts the noodles into the mixing bowl, then she adds some koi sauce. She then picks up the Power Eggs and squeezes them, before adding the pulp to the mixture.

Octabby: Gross, heehee!

Octako enters the room.

Octako: Are you having fun, Onee-chan?

Octabby scrubs her hands with some yellow ink, before drying them with a clean hand towel.

Octabby: Oh, sis! Yeah, just getting my hands messy with some Power Egg squeezing.

Octako: You always enjoy that part, yes?

Octabby: Yep! Care to help?

Octako: Oh...I do not like to intrude after you wished to make a meal for everyone.

Octabby: Well, I'll ALWAYS appreciate help from my dear lil' sister, heehee.

Octako: In that case, may I please observe as you prepare this tasty treat?

Octabby giggles.

Octabby: It would be my pleasure, Octa-chan.

Octako seems to smile.

Octako: What is to be added next?

Octabby: Uh...the seafood and veggies, I think.

Ally enters the kitchen.

Ally: Um...if I might make a suggestion, tofu is a delicious addition to fried noodles.

Octabby: Oh, that sounds good, but I don't have any tofu.

Ally: Not to worry, because I brought...

Ally holds up a bag of raw tofu cubes.

Ally: TA-DA!

Ally opens the bag and dumps every bit of tofu into the bowl.

Octabby: Oh...okay then...

Inklinda's voice: You know what else this cake needs?

Inklinda is suddenly standing there.

Octabby: WHOA! Inklinda-san, you surprised me!

Inklinda: Well, prepare to be VERY surprised or whatever...there we go...one finely-chopped anchovy.

Octabby: What...? Why did you add an anchovy?

Inklinda: It's better than adding salt. And I get MORE than enough salt from Spillma, tee-wy-vee-em!

Octabby: But...this recipe doesn't call for salt, OR anchovies!

Inklinda: But it's, like, going to taste sooooooo much better now!

Octabby: But-

***
Seth: Now, the trick is not to add too much butter to the mix...

Octabby: Uhm-

***
Squika: Just a little pinch of cinnamon, for that tree-bark-y taste!

Octabby: But I don't like-

***
Inklein: You need to mix the noodles vigorously, because they'll tangle into a big ball of yarn if you don't! And NO-ONE likes to eat yarn, believe me!

Octabby: It's supposed to be-

***
Squigley 2: And just a little Psy-pod magic to bring out its better qualities before it goes into the wok.

Squigley 2 tosses the noodles into the wok, then proceeds to begin flipping them while adding the entire bottle of koi sauce. Octabby is speechless.

Octabby: My...my yakisoba-

Squigley 2: -will be ready in five minutes. Now, for the seaweed...

Squigley 2 tosses in some strips of soft nori. Octabby lowers her head in sorrow.

***
A bowl of fried noodles rests in Octabby's left hand, while her right grasps a pair of chopsticks. The others stare at her in anticipation. Octabby swallows loudly.

Octabby: Okay...time to try this yakisoba...

Octabby picks up a bundle of noodles with her chopsticks. She puts them in her mouth and chews once. After a brief pause, her eyes light up and she finishes her mouthful, swallowing it.

Octabby: Oishii desu ne...? (Isn't this yummy...?)

Octanner: The best meal comes from a group effort.

Ally: Well said, Octanner.

Inklinda: What?! But...he didn't even contribute!

Squigley 2: Well, TECHNICALLY he did, because I did.

Inklinda: Oh, that doesn't count or whatever.

Inklein: Wait...so Wiggles and Wiggles Jr. are the same person...?

Podd: In a sense, yes, they are the same. Squigley 2 is a divergent entity from Octanner, but they share the same history. Thus, they are technically the same.

Inklein: Wow...and I thought Wiggles Jr. was Wiggles's son who was given to him after he made a wish to the toffee genie.

Inklinda rolls her eyes.

Inklinda: Like, keep on dreaming, Inkle-butt...

Everyone laughs.

Scene 2: Inkopolis Park: Afternoon

One week later...

Everyone relaxes in a park, sitting at a large metal outdoor table with enough bench space for them all to sit.

Octako: Such a lovely day it is today.

Ally: Indeed. The subtle warmness is most enjoyable.

Seth: What do you expect? It's the middle of spring!

Inklinda: Hey, after this, let's, like, go and get some ice-cream or wha-

Squika: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!

Everyone stares at Squika.

Inklinda: -tever.

Squilma: Okay, just what the fresh is your problem, Squeirdo?!

Squika: Really? NONE of you is curious about the delicious aroma that's emanating from that HUGE container in front of Octabigail?!

Everyone looks at Octabby, who has a large, semi-translucent container with a yellow lid in front of her.

Seth: Oh yeah...

Inklein: How did we all miss THAT?

Inklinda: Are you, like, kidding, honey? YOU I can understand not noticing, but the rest of these people should've noticed it. As for me, I guess I was the only one who realised that-

Squilma: You didn't notice either, did you, Stinklinda?

Inklinda: Like, no or whatever.

Octabby: It's fine, really. After what happened last week, I felt bad that you didn't get to taste any authentic Octarian cuisine, so I wanted to surprise everyone by preparing some hirugohan.

Ally: "Hih-roo-go-hahn?"

Octako: It means "the meal of midday" in your Inklish tongue.

Squika: Tell us what's in the container, Octabigail!

Octabby: Oh, okay then...

Octabby removes the lid. Everyone looks at the contents, which consists of a number of round, golden, pancake-like treats.

Inklein: YAY, pancakes! And it's not even Pancake Friday!

Octabby: Actually, Inklein-kun, these are okonomiyaki.

Inklein: Oh...um...YAY, octo-nummy-yummy! And it's not even Octo-nummy-yummy Friday!

Ally: Oh, I've heard of this dish. It's supposedly like a pancake, though savoury and made with fresh seafood.

Inklinda: So...Inkle-butt was RIGHT?!

Octanner: You're gonna love this food, everyone. I...kind of tried some while Octabby was making it.

Squika: So did I!

Squilma: You lucky so-and-sos. I'm eager to try some right now!

As Squilma finishes her sentence, a drop of saliva drips down her chin.

Inklinda: Like, ew or whatever...

Squigley 2: I heard that Marina from Off the Hook has her own take on this dish. She makes it with tiny pieces of potato and a tiny dollop of wasabi.

Podd: Is it difficult to prepare?

Octabby: It's actually quite simple to make. I...did have to get creative with the ingredients, though, since some ingredients of my recipe aren't common on the surface.

Squika: Fascinating stuff...now HURRY UP AND MAKE WITH THE PANCAKES!

Octabby: Certainly. Everyone, please help yourselves!

Octabby giggles and smiles sweetly.

***
The friends sit at the table, their bellies stuffed.

Squilma: Wow, Octabby...Octarian food SURE IS scrummy...

Squika: That was easily the best okonomiyaki I've ever had!

Seth: But...wasn't the stuff you ate before from the same batch, big bro?

Squika: Oh, right! Duh!

Squika slaps his head...body...thing with a tentacle.

Squika: Ouch!

Octabby: I'm glad you liked it.

Octabby smiles sweetly.

Ally: It was indeed superb. Omedetou! I...hope I said that correctly.

Octabby: Of course, Ally-san.

Squilma: Oh, by the way...Squika?

Squika: Yes?

Squilma: Catch.

Squilma throws an orange inkfruit to Squika, who catches it.

Squika: Ooh, an inkfruit! Wait...why am I suddenly so itchy...?

Squika's eyes bulge, and he drops the fruit, before he starts to vigorously scratch.

Inklinda: Oh no...

Squilma grins.

Squilma: Oh yes...heheheh...

Squika: What is happening?!

Squilma: Well, Lindie used to be allergic to orange inkfruit. Now that you've technically swapped bodies, you acquired her allergy.

Inklinda: Great...now the nightmares are gonna come flooding back or whatever...

Squika: But why punish me?!

Squika continues to scratch.

Squilma: Because SOMEONE ate my snack without asking me first!

Squigley 2 nervously raises his hand.

Squigley 2: Uh...actually, that was me. And I did ask, just before you said it was okay.

Squilma: Oh...that's right, I forgot. Sorry, Squeirdo! No hard feelings?

Squika: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! Ooch...so itchy...

Squilma laughs nervously.

Squilma's thoughts: I hope this doesn't have lasting repercussions...

Scene 1: Stage: Unknown Time of Day
Squarka and an Octoling with a purple afro walk onto the stage.

Squarka: Hey there, Inkopolis! I'm Squarka, the star of the Squigley no Densetsu episode "Part-Time Ink-ployment". And this is my Turf War teammate, Octeejay, star of the Octanner no Monogatari episode...uh...what's your ep called, again?

Octeejay: Mm-mm-mff-mm-mmn!

Squarka: Pardon?

Octeejay swallows his mouthful.

Octeejay: You like outtakes, right?

Squarka: Uh...you didn't answer my question. And what were you eating?

Octeejay: Well, here are some handpicked moments from the first half of Squidkid Saga which stood out as the outtakiest of outtakes.

Squarka: Seriously, dude, what were you eating?

Octeejay: So get ready for the Squidkid Saga Blooper Reel!

Squarka sighs.

Squarka: Never mind...

Squid Rescue Time!:

Surf and Turf!:

Tako Yucky!:

Transform-ink-tion!:

Back to the Beginn-ink!:

Trend-ink on Squitter!:

Premon-ink-tions!:

Future Proof-ink!: