Squidkid Shorts: A Fanfic-Spinoff Webseries by GeekyGamerZack

Scene 1: Ammo Knights: Morning

Squilma stands in Ammo Knights. Sheldon is speaking to her.

Sheldon: ...and so I'm now stocking Brellas for your convenience, Age-

Inklinda walks in.

Inklinda: Good morning, all!

Squilma groans.

Squilma: It WAS good...until about five seconds ago.

Inklinda: Sheldon giving another of his boring speeches?

Sheldon: Boring...?

Squilma: Inklinda, Sheldon is standing RIGHT THERE!

Inklinda: M-hm...like I care. So what are you, like, doing here, anyway?

Squilma: I thought you said you didn't care.

Inklinda: Oh, I don't. Now spill me the deets!

Sheldon is delighted.

Sheldon: Well, I was just about to sell Squilma one of my excellent, top-of-the-range Brellas!

Inklinda laughs.

Inklinda: A BRELLA?! Are you totes cray?

Squilma: No, I'm SQUILMA Cray!

Inklinda: Like...what?

Squilma: That's my name: Squilma Cray.

Inklinda: Oh. Um...that's nice...

Inklinda's thoughts: Yes! I, like, have a way to tease her 'til I'm bored or whatever!

Inklinda: Well then, have fun with your new toy. Later!

Inklinda leaves the shop. Squilma shouts at the door.

Squilma: I'm not buying a stupid Brella!

Sheldon: But I already charged your cred-ink card!

Squilma stares at Sheldon.

Squilma: You did WHAT?!

Sheldon grins.

Sheldon: You are a Brella MASTER, Squilma! Show that Inklinda who's boss!

Squilma frowns and grins.

Squilma: Yeah! I'll show HER!

Scene 2: Shellendorf Institute: Afternoon

Inklinda, who has neon pink ink and tentacles, stands in a secluded area. She holds a tentacle in front of her face for a few seconds, then lets go of it, letting it flop to the side of her face.

Inklinda: Ugh, this colour makes me look just like Squilma...

Squilma, who has neon green tentacles and ink, spots Inklinda by herself.

Squilma: Perfect...while Inklinda's distracted, I'll sneak up behind her and open my Brella. Not even her Inkbrush can stop me!

Inklinda stares over the edge.

Inklinda: I'd hate it if someone, like, backed me over this platform or whatever.

Squilma lands behind Inklinda.

Squilma: SNEAK ATTAAAAACK!

Inklinda: Huh?

Squilma opens her Brella and attempts to push Inklinda over the edge.

Squilma: There is no escape! AHAHAHAHAAH!

The shield portion detaches, but Inklinda steps aside as it moves past her...and over the edge.

Squilma: Oh...um...

Inklinda waves her Inkbrush in a frenzy, splatting Squilma and causing her ghost to float back to the pad. Inklinda grins.

Inklinda: You are totes cray if you think an umbrella's gonna, like, stop me or whatever, Squillie...

Scene 3: Ammo Knights: Afternoon

Squilma mic-drops the Brella in front of Sheldon.

Squilma: I demand a refund!

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning

We see Inklein spray-painting on a wall. He is wearing a Painter's Mask instead of his usual Pilot Goggles.

Inklein: Wow, this is so awesome...heehee!

Inklein stops spraying and sits against the wall.

Inklinda's voice: 'Morning, Squigley.

Inklinda walks up to Inklein.

Inklinda: I was just wondering what-

Inklinda's left eye squints.

Inklinda: Inklein...? But...you don't wear a Painter's Mask.

Inklein: ...I don't?

Inklinda: No! Squigley's, like, the only one of us who does, remember?

Inklein: I thought his mask got spla-

Inklinda: Gonna have to interrupt you there, Inkle-butt. What are you doing here, anyway?

Inklein: Sitting down.

Inklinda shakes her head.

Inklinda: No, I mean aside from sitting down.

Inklein: Breathing.

Inklinda facepalms.

Inklinda: Idiot...

Inklinda speaks in a loud, stretched tone.

WHY DO YOU HAVE A CAN OF SPRAY PAINT?

Inklein: Oh, this? To spray paint on this wall.

The scene zooms out to reveal a kawaii-looking image of Squilma. Inklein stands and turns to face his work. Inklinda is dumbfounded.

Inklinda: Uh...Inklein, this...this is...

Inklein: The Inkopolis city hall hired me as a graffiti artist. They said I could paint anything I desired!

Inklinda's left eye squints.

Inklinda: So you chose Squilma?

Inklein turns to look at Inklinda.

Inklein: Sure. Why not?

Inklinda: Sweetie, there are, like, EIGHT HUNDRED better things for you to paint than THIS load of carp!

Inklein: Well, what would you suggest?

Inklinda pokes her fingers together and gives a soft smile.

Inklinda: Well...you could paint ME, for one...

Inklein stares at Inklinda for a few seconds.

Inklein: No.

Inklinda: Thanks, I knew you'd-

Inklinda's eyes widen as she stares at Inklein.

Inklinda: ...what?

Inklein: No.

Inklinda flips out.

Inklinda: YOU STUPID-

Inklinda whips out her Inkbrush.

Inklinda: You asked for this, sweetie!

Inklinda runs up to the painting and waves her Inkbrush back and forth in a frenzy. She cackles.

Inklinda: Take THAT, Spillma! AHAHAHAHAAH!

Inklinda lowers her inkbrush and admires her handiwork. The entire painting is covered by orange ink.

Inklinda: Come on, I'll buy you a juice.

Inklinda begins walking away. Inklein starts to follow her.

Inklein: I like that you're testing your art skills, Lindie, but couldn't you find a different wall? Ideally one which doesn't have a painting on it? Lindie?

Squilma starts to walk past the wall. The ink disappears with a "munch munch" sound. Squilma looks to her left and sees the wall.

Squilma: Wait...the fresh?!

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning

We see a view of Squika in the middle of Inkopolis Square.

Narrator: We here at the Squid Research Lab have seen some unusual things while studying Inkling culture, but there is one thing that still baffles us: Inklings who choose to remain in a perpetual squid form.

Squika folds his tentacles together.

Just look at this specimen: on the surface, he looks like any other squid form Inkling, but there's something extra-special about him.

Squika suddenly inks himself.

Oh...um...ew.

***
The scene cuts to a view of Squika on the dance pad outside The Shoal.

Narrator: Here we see the specimen participating in what appears to be some sort of ritualistic courtship dance.

Squilma leaves The Shoal and looks at Squika, before she frowns and walks away.

I don't know about you, but this researcher expects our squiddy friend to find a mate in no time at all!

Scene 2: Arowana Mall: Afternoon

We see a view of purple and lime green splatter marks across the ground.

Narrator: Just like others of their kind, squid form Inklings enjoy doing Turf War, though their approach may be a little different than what you'd expect...

Squika leaps through the purple ink like a dolphin. He appears delighted.

Just look at the specimen leap out of the water like a dolphin! He appears to be having the most fun out of all his teammates!

Squika is splatted by Inklein, who has lime green tentacles and a Slosher filled with lime green ink. Squika's ghost floats back to the spawn pad.

Oh dear...we have just witnessed the downside of playing Turf War in squid form: there's no easy way to defend oneself. But don't worry, champ. You'll get 'em next time!

Scene 3: Inkopolis Square: Evening

We see Squika repeatedly jumping into the air outside Deca Tower.

Narrator: After a hard day of Turf War, even squid form Inklings enjoy the Inkopolis nightlife. Just look at our friend, dancing the night away outside Inkopolis Square's hottest spots!

Squika suddenly inks himself, and causes a jet of purple ink to land on Inklinda, who screams and runs away.

Hm...something tells me it will take a little longer for our friend to find a mate...oh well, keep at it, skipper!

***
We see a view of Squika near the Crust Bucket munching a Shwaffle.

Narrator: As you have seen, squid form Inklings are fascinating creatures to observe. I think we'll leave our friend to enjoy his evening meal.

A bird swoops down and snatches up Squika's Shwaffle. Squika's eyes widen, before he begins to sob.

Until next time! Squid Research Lab, signing off!

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning

Squilma sits at a table, a cup of juice in her hand.

Squilma: Ah, such a nice day...I doubt anything can spoil it...

Inklinda's voice: Good morning, Squillie.

Inklinda and Inklein walk up to Squilma.

Squilma's voice: I have to learn to stop jinxing myself...

Squilma: What do you want, squid breath?

Inklinda puts her hand on her hip.

Inklinda: That insult doesn't, like, work on me, you know.

Squilma: Why? Are you resilient to my words? Sticks and stones, etc...

Inklinda: No, it's because I AM a squid!

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: Of course you are...anyway, what do you two dorks want?

Inklinda: HEY! We are NOT dorks or whatever!

Inklinda looks at Inklein, who laughs with a dorky grin on his face.

Inklein: You're so funny, Wilma...

Inklinda: Well...I'M not, anyway.

Squilma: What do you want?

Inklinda: What? Can't a girl, like, say "hi" to her BFF?

Squilma: Well, you've said it. Now raise anchor and shove off.

Inklinda grins.

Inklinda: You know, you can be, like, cheeky or whatever.

Squilma: I learned from the master.

Inklein: Heheheh..."master"...good one, Wilma.

Inklinda: Are you implying that I'M cheeky?

Squilma: No, just rude, insensitive, narcissistic-

Inklinda: Stop, stop! You're, like, flattering me or whatever!

Squilma: When did we stop being friends, Inklinda?

Inklinda: Pardon?

Squilma: We used to get along so well when we were squidlings.

Inklinda: We did?

Inklein: Wait a minute...

Inklein's eyes widen.

Inklein: I just realised I skipped breakfast!

Inklinda shakes her head.

Inklinda: Oh, but to, like, have an intelligent conversation or whatever...

Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: I know when it happened!

Inklein: When what happened...?

Squilma: When Inklinda stopped being nice!

Inklein scratches his head.

Inklein: Inklinda...?

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: "Lindie".

Inklein: Oh...right...

Inklinda: Spill it, Spillma. When did I apparently stop being nice or whatever?

Squilma: Camp Triggerfish.

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Wilma. Camp Triggerfish isn't a time, it's a PLACE!

Squilma: I went away to Camp Triggerfish as my Sweet 14 present, and when I got back it was like you were a whole different person!

Inklein: You mean like when Lindie and Squeaky-

Inklinda: Will you STOP mentioning that incident, you idiot?! Ugh, it took me long enough to stop having nightmares about it!

Squilma: Seriously, was the old Inklinda snatched away and replaced with some weird Octarian lab experiment?!

Inklinda: Oh, Squilma, you know as well as I do that the Octarians are just an urban legend or whatever!

Squilma: Look, the point is that you aren't the same as you used to be.

Inklinda: M-hm...whatever, honey.

Squilma growls.

Squilma: I'm leaving before you make me throw an Inklein at you!

Squilma stands off her seat and walks away. She leaves her cup on the table.

Inklinda: Okay then! Love to Squiggles for me!

Squilma's voice: Bite me!

Inklein looks at Inklinda.

Inklein: Heh...Squilma thinks you're a shark.

Inklinda saddens a little.

Inklinda: Maybe she's, like, right or whatever...maybe I HAVE changed...I have some thinking to-

Jelfonzo's voice: Behold! For the next hour at Ye Olde Cloth Shoppe, every piece of apparel receiveth a 50% reduction in price! Come one, come all and findeth a new you!

Inklinda: Ooh, a sale!

Inklinda walks over to Ye Olde Cloth Shoppe. Inklein picks up Squilma's cup and takes a sip, before spitting out the juice. His left eye squints.

Inklein: Yuck! I HATE cantaloupe!

Inklein drinks some more juice. He smiles.

Inklein: Mmm!

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning

We see Inklein walking through Inkopolis Square. He is holding an ice-cream cone.

Inklein: YAY! Purple is my favourite flavour!

Inklein goes to bite the ice-cream, but it falls out of the cone and onto the floor.

Inklein: Aw...

Squam leaps into view. He has a bedsheet tied around his neck and a pair of glossy yellow gloves on his hands.

Squam: What seems to be the trouble, citizen?

Inklein: Oh, it's Squidkid, the most awesomest superhero!

Squam: Actually, I'm...

Squam pulls a superhero pose.

Squam: ...SQUAM MAN!

Inklein scratches his head.

Inklein: Who...?

Squam: You know...? Squam Man?

Inklein: Uh...

Inklein's eyes widen.

Inklein: Oh, you're Squam! But...I didn't know your last name was "Man"...

Squam: What seems to be the trouble?

Inklein: Oh, well...um...my scalp's been itching a lot lately, and my purple fell on the ground.

Squam looks at the ground.

Squam: Not to worry, my good sir! I will be glad to assist you!

Squam runs away.

Inklein: Wow...Squam must REALLY like cosplaying...

***
Two hours later...

Squam runs back up to Inklein. He is holding a vanilla ice-cream cone and what resembles a bottle of shampoo.

Squam: Here you are, citizen! One ice-cream cone and one bottle of itchy scalp lotion!

Inklein: Wow...thanks, Squam Ma'am!

Squam: All in a day's work for...

Squam pulls his classic superhero pose.

Squam: SQUAM MAN!

Squam runs away. Inklein bites into his ice-cream. His left eye squints.

Inklein: Wait a minute...

Inklein's eyes widen.

Inklein: ...this lotion is for sensitive scalp! How did Squam Ma'am know?! Wow, he's the bestest superhero guy...

Inklein continues to eat his white-hued ice-cream.

Inklein: Mmm...purple...

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Afternoon

Squienna walks away from Deca Tower.

Squienna's thoughts: Poor Squigley...he was spawn-splatted by Inklein...

Squienna ponders her thought.

Squienna's thoughts: Strange...this isn't the sort of thing Inklein would normally do...it's not in his nature...or his level of intelligence...

Inklinda's voice: Wow, you, like, did it PERFECTLY or whatever, Inkle-butt!

Squienna looks behind her. She sees Inklinda talking to Inklein.

Inklinda: It's things like that that'll put Team Ink & Swim on the map!

Inklein: Really...? Wow...

Inklinda: You really proved yourself today, y'know?

Inklein smiles.

Inklein: Hey, yeah...and after I thought I was doing something BAD.

Inklinda: Oh, you were bad, my guy friend.

Inklein's left eye squints.

Inklein: I was...?

Inklinda grins.

Inklinda: You're, like, a BAD little kid or whatever...and I like it.

Inklein's eyes widen.

Inklein: Uh...I-I just realised I have to go and...uh...do a thing. Bye!

Inklein dashes away. Squienna frowns.

Squienna: So SHE'S the true mastermind...I should do something EQUALLY heinous to her...heheheh...

Suddenly, a tiny Squienna with yellow tentacles pops onto her right shoulder.

Nice Squienna: Wait! You're doing WHAT?!

Squienna: Why is my subconscious manifesting a nice version of myself on my shoulder...?

A tiny Squienna with magenta tentacles and Octoling-styled eyes and ears pops onto her left shoulder.

Naughty Squienna: Same reason it manifested ME, Nicequienna!

The Nice Squienna gasps.

Nicequienna: Squienaughty! What are you doing here?!

The Naughty Squienna laughs.

Squienaughty: Isn't it obvious? I'm here to stop you from convincing Squienna to do something stupid!

Nicequienna: No-one asked you, you...Octoling, you!

Squienaughty: Ooh, is THAT the best ya got, you good-for-nothing squid?

Squienna: STOP! I can't handle people bickering, ESPECIALLY when they're manifestations of my conscience!

An Inkling looks at Squienna, his left eye squinting as he does so.

Squienna: Just...using my bluefin-enabled squidphone! Heheheh...

Squienaughty: So you know I'm from your subconscious, eh? Then you know I'M right!

Nicequienna: No, I'M the correct one!

Squienna: Hold it! NEITHER of you has actually given me a suggestion of what to do!

Voice: Trim her Inkbrush!

Squienna looks up. The scene zooms out to reveal a tiny Jellyfish on her head.

Squienna: And which part of my subconscious are you?

Jellyfish: Oh, I'm NEUTRAL Squienna, aka Jellyquieneutral, and I say trim her Inkbrush!

Squienna's left eye squints.

Squienna: That doesn't seem like a very neutral thing to do...

Jellyquieneutral: Well, it's what I'M suggesting, so I say it IS neutral!

Squienna looks at Squienaughty.

Squienna: Then what were you going to suggest?

Squienaughty: Throw a bucket of water over her.

Squienna: Whoa, whoa, whoa! That's WAY too extreme!

Nicequienna raises her hand.

Nicequienna: Um...I was going to suggest throwing a pie at her face.

Squienna throws her arms into the air.

Squienna: So basically, none of you is ACTUALLY helping me at all.

Squienaughty: Well, you better pick ONE of our ideas. Better yet, do all three!

Nicequienna: Now, now, Squienaughty, I think ONE idea is plenty.

Squienaughty razzes at Nicequienna.

Squienna: In that case, I'm choosing the middle ground option.

Squienaughty and Nicequienna are surprised.

Jellyquieneutral: YAY!

Scene 2: Inkopolis Streets: Afternoon

Squienna follows Inklinda, who is holding her Inkbrush.

Squienna: Okay...somehow, I need to trim that 'brush without Inklinda looking...

Inklinda loads her Inkbrush into what resembles an umbrella holder outside an art shop, before walking inside. Squienna's left eye squints.

Squienna: Well...that was easy.

Squienna sneaks up to the art shop. She readies a pair of shears and cuts off the bristles on Inklinda's Inkbrush.

Squienna: Heheheh...THAT'LL show her not to mess with Squigley! Now, to leave a note...

Squienna attaches a note to Inklinda's Inkbrush, before sneaking away. Inklinda leaves the shop, waving as she does so.

Inklinda: Like, thanks again or whatever! Now, to retrieve my-

Inklinda's eyes widen as she sees her Inkbrush.

Inklinda: My...my Inkbrush...this was the first weapon I ever haggled for a huge discount on! WHO DID THIS?! Hm...?

Inklinda sees the note and removes it. She reads it aloud.

Inklinda: "Dear Inklindumb, how DARE you do that to poor Squigley?! Consider the trimming of your Inkbrush as my gift to you...AND as a warning to NEVER, EVER do that again!"

Inklinda's left eye squints.

Inklinda: Why would Squiggles damage my Inkbrush...? This isn't like him...

Inklinda's thoughts: Wait...he wouldn't speak in the third-person, either...even on a note...and this isn't even his handwriting...it's-

Inklinda scrunches the note with one hand as her eyes appear to ignite.

Inklinda: SquiennAAAAAAAA!

Scene 1: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

Squilma, Squika and Inklein sit at a table. Squilma is looking around.

Squilma: Where's our order? I'm more ravenous than Inklinda in a cake factory!

Inklein: Heheh...you're so pretty when you're hungry, Squilma...

Squika: Wait...Inklinda hates cake?

Squilma: With a passion, my dear Squika. She avoids it like Inklinda in a candy floss factory!

Squika's left eye squints.

Squika: So what you're saying is that Inklinda dislikes junk food?

Squilma: No, just anything sweet.

Squika: Well, that explains her hatred for your good self, then...

Squilma smiles.

Squilma: Aw, that's such a sweet compliment, Squika...

Squika: I have my moments.

Inklein: Heheh...you're so pretty when you're thankful, Squilma...

Squika: So where IS Inklinda, anyway?

Squilma: She didn't tell you?

Squika: To be fair, she doesn't tell me ANYTHING.

Squilma: Well, you ARE a squeirdo...

Inklein: Heheh...you're so pretty when you're witty, Squilma...hey, that rhymes, just like an octaiku!

Squika: Octaiku don't rhyme, my good fellow, nor do they exist.

Inklein scratches his head.

Inklein: Oh...right...

Squilma: Moving back on topic, Inklinda is taking a "well-deserved" vacation at Mahi-Mahi Resort.

Squika: Well, I suppose even self-centered Inklings deserve a treat once every while...

Squilma: I know, which is why I had a little surprise left for her in her locker at Inkblot Art Academy...heheheh...

***
We cut to a view of the outside of a pink locker. After a moment, we hear a fart sound, followed by a cloud of sickly greenish mist emanating from the holes at the top.

***
We cut back to Squilma, Squika and Inklein. Squika's eyes widen.

Squika: But...who in their right mind would be dumb enough to be tricked into planting fartnacles in Inklinda's locker?!

Squika slowly turns his head...body...thing to look at Inklein. He is picking his nose. Inklein looks at Squika.

Inklein: What?

Squika: N-Nothing...

Squika's thoughts: I wondered why our friend possesses a strong odour of bottom-belch...

Squilma: Anyway, she won't be back for a little over a week.

Inklein: Wait a minute...I just realised that there's a theme of the number 8 throughout this fanfic!

Squika: Really? It took you this long to realise that fact, my simple-minded friend?

Squilma: THIS coming from the squeirdo who didn't realise that Squigley and Agent 3 haven't appeared in these Squidkid Shorts until I told him this morning?

Squika pouts.

Squika: That is completely different.

Squilma: Yeah...180 I.Q. my bass.

Inklein: That's not ALL I've figured out.

Squilma: What else have you realised, Inkle-butt?

Inklein: This mini-episode is called an "Inklinda Short", but Inklinda isn't actually IN it.

Squilma: Yeah, I know. That's the joke. She's the theme, but she doesn't make an ACTUAL appearance.

***
We cut to a view of Inklinda lying on a deckchair. She suddenly sits up and looks at the camera.

Inklinda: WHAT?! That is, like, SO unfair or whatever!

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning

Inklein finishes writing on several sheets of paper.

Inklein: There...the best thing I've ever written yet!

Squilma's voice: Hi, Inklein!

Squilma walks up to Inklein's table and sits down. Inklein smiles.

Inklein: Hi, Wilma!

Squilma: Whatcha doin' there?

Inklein: I just finished writing my first fan-fiction!

Squilma's left eye squints.

Squilma: Really?

Inklein: It's for a creative writing project at Inkblot. My teacher said I need to put a lot of effort into it if I want a passing grade.

Squilma: Fair enough. Um...may I read it?

Inklein blushes.

Inklein: Sure thing! Here you go.

Inklein hands the pages to Squilma.

Squilma: Okay, here goes...

***
The Adventures of Naff the Fan

Spoiler:

***
Squilma sets down the document.

Squilma: Well...um...

Inklein: It's good, right?

Squilma: Well, you certainly seem to have put SOME effort into it...

Inklein: YAY! I'm gonna give it to Mr. Crabbygrump RIGHT NOW!

Inklein snatches the pages from Squilma.

Inklein: Thanks, Wilma!

Inklein runs away.

Squilma: Inklein, wait!

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: Hoo boy...this is NOT gonna end well...

Scene 2: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

Squilma sits at a table. She bites into a sandwich.

Squilma: Oh that's SO good...NOTHING can spoil this moment...

Inklinda's voice: Hey there, Squillie.

Squilma sighs as Inklinda and Inklein approach.

Squilma's thoughts: Way to jinx it AGAIN, "Squillie"...

Inklein has a big grin on his face.

Squilma: Why are you so happy, Inklein?

Inklein: I got a passing grade on my fan-fiction!

Squilma's eyes widen.

Squilma: For THAT piece of...uh...well-written...fan-fictiony goodness?

Inklinda: Don't kid yourself, Squilma. He only just passed.

Inklein: I got a Sea-minor!

Inklinda: That's "C-", sweetie.

Inklein scratches his head.

Inklein: Oh, right...Sea-minors are a math symbol...

Inklinda: No, you're thinking of music, honey.

Inklein: Really? Are you sure about that?

Inklinda shakes her head.

Squilma: Well, congratulations, Inklein. You deserve it.

Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Ooh, I see you're eating a Seanwich!

Squilma: Actually, it's a SANDwich.

Inklein's left eye squints.

Inklein: Ew, why would you eat SAND?! That's gross!

Squilma stares at Inklein.

Squilma's thoughts: Oh, my dear, sweet Inklein...I pity the girl who ends up with you...

Scene 1: Inkopolis Square: Morning

Inklinda sits at a table using her squidphone. She constantly clicks on the screen.

Inklinda: Like...like...ugh, this is, like, boooooooring or whatever. Why won't he just ask me out?!

A purple tentacle appears in front of Inklinda's face.

Inklinda: AAH! A freaky tentacle-thing!

Inklinda looks at the source of the tentacle: Squika.

Inklinda: Wow, I was, like, correct or whatever. Heh.

Squika: Inklinda, pull my tentacle!

Inklinda: Like, no or whatever.

Squika: Mmph...fine.

Squika slides away.

Squika's thoughts: There must be SOMEONE whom I can prank...

***
Squika holds his tentacle to Squilma.

Squika: Squilma, pull my tentacle!

Squilma: And why should I do that?

Squika: Oh...well...

Squika's thoughts: Darn it, she's smart! Surely there's SOMEONE who's dumb enough to fall for my prank...

***
Squika holds his tentacle to Podd.

Squika: Doni, pull my tentacle!

Podd: But what purpose would that serve...?

Squika: Well...

Squika's thoughts: You stupid squidiot! Podd's I.Q. must be higher than Squilma's...hm...I need someone who's naïve enough to...aha!

***
Squika holds his tentacle to a random Jellyfish.

Squika: Uh...whatever-your-name-is, pull my tentacle!

The Jellyfish stretches its tentacle toward Squika.

Squika's thoughts: Yes...it's working...

The Jellyfish's tentacle touches Squika's forehead. Squika's eyes fall flat.

Squika: I should've expected this.

Jellyfish: Bloop!

***
Squika slides through the square and climbs up to a table, laying on his back as he looks at a cloud shaped like Inklein's face.

Squika: This is hopeless...

A hand appears in front of Squika's face. It is pointing at him.

Squika: Hm?

Squika sits up and sees Inklein, who is grinning.

Inklein: Squeaky, pull my finger!

Squika: Hm? Oh, alright...

Squika grabs Inklein's finger with his tentacle and pulls. We hear a splat sound. Squika looks down as Inklein giggles.

Inklein: Silly Squeaky! You INKED yourself! Silly Squeaky!

Squika's eyes widen.

Squika: No, that was all backwards! Inklein, you were supposed to pull MY tentacle!

Inklein: I was?

Squika: Also, I was supposed to FART, not ink myself! I guess I'll leave pranking to the experts.

Inklein: Oh, you mean Master Prankster Squa-

Squika: INKLEIN! He's already had his cameos! So do. Not. Mention. Squam!

Inklein: But...you just did.

Squika: I did?! Oh, fins & fiddles...next thing you know, I'll accidentally reference Squienna.

Inklein: Silly Squeaky! You just did! Silly Squeaky!

Squika sighs.

Squika: Great...NOW they're going to want to have full parts...I guess it's a good thing this mini-episode isn't canon!

Voice #1: Did you hear? The Squidkid Shorts are being fully integrated into the Squidkid Saga timeline!

Voice #2: They are? That's fantastico!

Squika: NOOOOOOOOOO!

Scene 1: Ate & Switch: Afternoon

Squilma, Squika and Inklein sit at a table.

Squilma: Inklinda is taking a "well-deserved" vacation at Mahi-Mahi Resort.

Squika: Well, I suppose even self-centered Inklings deserve a treat once every while...

Scene 2: Mahi-Mahi Resort: Afternoon

Inklinda sits on a deckchair by a pool. A number of Jellyfish are in the water, apparently enjoying their stay.

Inklinda: Ah...this is the life...

Inklinda picks up a little bell and jingles it, prompting a Jellyfish waiter to zip to her side.

Inklinda: A crab frittata, sil vous plait or whatever.

The waiter zips away. After a split second, the waiter zips back and hands her a plate containing a golden-yellow frittata.

Inklinda: I can't eat this! It has seaweed in it! Have the chef make another.

The waiter takes the frittata and zips away, before returning with a fresh one.

Inklinda: Are there whites AND yolks in this?

Waiter: Bloop.

Inklinda: That's, like, disgusting or whatever! I can't eat it! Take it back and have the chef make one with ONLY yolks.

The waiter zips away, before returning with a third frittata.

Inklinda: Thank you, monsieur. I...what? Why is there crab in this crabby frittata? Take it back!

The waiter seems to sigh.

***
Five frittatas later...

The waiter returns with an eighth frittata. Inklinda looks at it and smiles.

Inklinda: It's perfect! Gratzi or whatever.

The waiter bows and walks away. Inklinda picks up the frittata in both hands.

Inklinda: Itadakimasu or whatever.

Inklinda opens her mouth to take a big bite. The sound of a whistle causes her to fling it into the air. It lands in the pool.

Inklinda: Like, my perfect frittata!

Inklinda looks at an Inkling security guard.

Guard: Inklinda Sea-Cow Squatson-

Inklinda: Um...actually, my middle name is-

Guard: Do kindly shut up.

Inklinda sighs.

Inklinda: ...or whatever.

Guard: You have been abusing this resort's services, and I'm afraid you must be punished.

Inklinda: Punished? But I have certain dietary requirements!

Guard: Dietary? This is about the graffiti on your room's bathroom wall!

Inklinda: But I thought guests were encouraged to express themselves!

Guard: Not by vandalising the building! I'm afraid I must-

Inklinda: Please don't throw me out!

Guard: Throw you out? You are a paid guest, so of COURSE you are welcome to stay!

Inklinda: Oh...then, like, what's my punishment?

Guard: You are forbidden from joining the Mahi-Mahi Member's Club...for two days!

Inklinda's eyes widen as she sits up.

Inklinda: WHAT?! That is, like, SO unfair or whatever!

Scene 1: Table: Night

We see Squilma, Squika, Inklinda, Inklein, Inklanna and Inkleigh sitting around a table. They are playing a game that resembles a parody of Dungeons & Dragons (in case the episode title didn't give it away).

Inklein: This is fun! I LOVE playing Chess!

Squilma raises an eyebrow.

Squilma: Uh...but we're not playing Chess. We're playing-

Inklinda: No, just...no. It's not worth the effort, Squillie.

Inklanna: Okay, does anyone know magic mussel?

Inklinda: No, but I, like, know cure wounds or whatever.

Squika: Perhaps we should discuss our characters?

Squilma: But we already DID that, Squika.

Squika: My character is Squiccoli Farsquat, the charming bard with secret Psy-Pod powers!

Squilma: Yes, we know.

Squika: Inklinda is playing Emilinda Sqwummers, the party cleric who is actually a member of royalty.

Inklinda: Yeah, that's me or whatever.

Squilma: Squika, we already know. Shut up!

Squika: Inklein is playing Aleklein Stormsquoud, the party's wise and intelligent magic-user.

Inklein: I'm a WIZARD!

Squilma: Squika, I swear I'm gonna-

Squika: Squilma is playing Squilmak Cray, the mighty swordwielder who's a few crumbs short of an ice-cream cake.

Squilma: A few crumbs short of a...Squika, that doesn't even make sense!

Squika: I suppose it wouldn't to the party's resident fighter, would it?

Inklein: Oh, I get it...ice-cream CAKE! Hahaha, that's a good one, Squeaky!

Inklinda sighs.

Inklinda: Just study your spellbook, sweetie.

Inklein: Oh, okay then!

Inklein picks up a book entitled Player's Handbook and reads it upside-down.

Inkleigh: Okay, let me fill you in on the adventure so far. You have all entered the lair of-

Squilma: Wait a second! Squika, you didn't detail Inklanna's character.

Squika: I didn't...?

Squilma: No, you didn't! And since you're SO keen to introduce our characters for the EIGHTH time tonight, I suggest you do so!

Squika: Oh, but I'd rather let Inklanna do it.

Squilma: What's the matter? Don't know her character at all?

Squika: What?! N-No...I just thought I'd let our guest introduce her own character. You know, it IS nice tto do things for others, right? Heheheh...

Squilma sighs.

Squilma: Squidiot.

Inklanna: Well, my character is-

A Grandfather clock suddenly chimes.

Inkleigh: And that's time. We'll need to pick up where we left off next time, I'm afraid.

Squilma: What?! But...we didn't play at all!

Inklein: According to this book, I have a spell called "Zander's Upside-Down Freehand Drawing" on my character sheep. Can I use it to draw an upside-down sheep on Wilma's head? It'd look so funny!

Inklinda: Yeah! If the Squeirdo hadn't, like, spent so long introducing our characters-

Squika: Hey! I'll have you know that I wanted us to all be on the same page!

Squilma: Well, poor Inklanna didn't even get to introduce HER character!

Inklanna: It's fine, really.

Inklein points a stick at Squilma.

Inklein: Inklein's Zander's Upside-Down Freehand Sheep!

Squilma: Not now, Inkle-butt. Grown-ups are talking.

Inklein: Aw...

Squika: Well, we can always play next time, right?

Inkleigh: Of course. I'll see you all next week.

Squilma: Oh...fine.

***
We cut to a view of Inkleigh sitting alone at the table. He opens a tome entitled Crystals of Silveria II: Fruit of the Overlay Plot Details and begins reading it.

Inkleigh: Ah, so Zander Starmute is actually-

Inkleigh's eyes widen.

Inkleigh: No, that can't be right...can it?!

Scene 1: Table: Night

Squilma, Squika, Inklinda, Inklein, Inkroy and Inkleigh sit around a table.

Inkleigh: Welcome back, everyone.

Squilma: Thanks, GM!

Inkroy: Does anyone know magic mussel?

Inklinda: No, but I, like, know detect evil or whatever...whoa, déjà vu.

Inklein: I'm a wizard!

Squika: Say, shouldn't we all-

Squilma: Squika, if you so much as DARE to spend the entire play session introducing our characters, I swear I will CUT A FISH! GOT IT?!

Squika: Um...I don't get it...

Inklein laughs.

Inklein: Oh, I get it! Cut a FISH! Heheheh...that's a good one, Wilma!

Inkleigh: We should at least let our guest introduce his character.

Inkleigh gestures to Inkroy. Inklein laughs.

Inklein: Silly GM! Inklanna isn't a HIS, she's a HER! Silly GM!

Inklinda's left eye squints.

Inklinda: Sometimes I can't tell if you're speaking Inkling or Jellybberish, sweetie...

Inkroy: Yeah nah, I'd be happy to introduce my character. I'm playing as Inkbryn, the daring rogue whose wit is sharper than the daggers he wields. He also has a taste for gold and magic items.

Inklein: He eats GOLD? So he's an oyster? You should've called him "Troyster"!

Inklinda: Silly Inklein! You can't, like, play as an oyster in this game! Silly sweetie or whatever.

Squika: What?! Well, THAT'S specist!

Inklinda: What do you care? It's not like YOU'RE an oyster, is it?

Squika: No, but I WAS raised by a-

Inkleigh: Whoa, spoilers! I haven't read that episode of Ally-Squinn no Shinwa yet!

Squilma: Uh...weren't you there, though? I mean, you WERE the one who-

Inkleigh: I'm afraid we'll need to get this thing started. We're already a session behind-

Squilma gently punches Squika in his head...body...thing.

Squilma: Nice one, Squeirdo.

Inkleigh: -so let's proceed.

***
The scene wipes to a view of the inside of a cave. We see the five players dressed as characters from Crystals of Silveria: Inkroy as Bryn, Inklinda as Emily, Inklein as Alek, Squilma as Mak, and Squika...as himself with a tuft of bright green hair.


Aleklein: "MAGIC MUSSEL!"

Aleklein aims his wand at the Squoblins, sending a Clam Blitz-esque clam at one of them. The Squoblin pops with a splash of vile-looking brownish-green ink.

Emilinda: INKLEIN! Could you BE any more of a moron or whatever?!

Aleklein: What's the worst that can-


The Squoblins turn their spears on the rest of the party.

Squiccoli: Is...there an echo in here?

Aleklein: Hey, yeah...it's just like there are TWO NARRATORS!

Squilmak: Don't be ridiculous! How can there be TWO narrators?

Emilinda: Well, there's, like, our GM, but there's also, like, the writer or whatever, right?

Squilmak rolls his eyes.

Squilmak: And you think INKLEIN speaks Jellybberish...

Squiccoli looks at Squilmak.

Squiccoli: Since when is your character male...?

Squilmak: What? Squilmak has ALWAYS been male! How could you not realise?

Squiccoli: Well, I suppose this IS a relatively new campaign...

Emilinda: Actually, we've been playing this campaign since Squigley left on his globe-trotting adventure nearly a month ago.

Squiccoli: Really? Wow, I guess I have a poor sense of time-progression...

Inkbryn: And that takes care of the Squoblins.

The other party members look at where the Squoblins stood. They have been replaced with splats of the icky-looking ink.

Squilmak: But...how did-

Inkbryn: Just a little sneak attack.

Inkbryn spins a dagger on his fingertip by the tip of its blade, before tossing it into the air and catching it by the hilt.

Inkbryn: You're welcome.

Inklinda: Wow...you're amazing or whatever!

Squiccoli: Indeed! With Inkbryn aiding our quest, there is no WAY we can fail!

***
30 seconds later...

The players sit around the table. Their eyes are widened.

Squilma: A TPS...how did we get a TPS?!

Inklein: Uh...by giving Cash to the cable company?

Inklinda: No, honey...TPS isn't a television station.

Inkroy: It stands for "Total Party Splat".

Squilma: You just HAD to jinx it, didn't you, Squidiot?

Squika's eyes widen.

Squika: How is this MY fault?!

Squilma: If you hadn't opened your mouth-

Squika: Hey! There is NO evidence to support the theory that I even HAVE a mouth whilst in squid form!

Squilma: Well, maybe I can RIP you one!

Inkleigh: Guys, please, calm down. The important thing is that we all had fun, right?

Squilma and Squika calm down.

Squilma: Yeah, I guess we did.

Squika: Indeed!

Inkleigh: Don't let the fact that you were all splatted by a single Octobold ruin the experience.

Inkroy: Well, I had fun filling in for your friend. Um...may I ask why she was absent, though?

Squilma: Oh...you know what? I don't actually know.

Squika: Neither do I. I didn't actually hear her reason.

Inklinda: Well, I didn't, like, care or whatever.

Inkleigh: And I seem to have misplaced her notice of absence...I'm sure it's here somewhere...

Inkleigh digs through piles of notes. Inklein grins.

Inklein: And I'm a wizard!